live, love, loafe

September 23, 2004

who to talk to?

Iím so glad that I have loafe, because it provides an opportunity for me to talk about all the things bothering me and on my mind. But sometimes, you need more than just a one-sided outlet. You need someone to talk back, to give you perspective, to say a few reassuring words. You need a human response.

Right now I am having issues with Gordon, and I could really use some good advice, or at least an understanding ear. But when it comes to Gordon...well, things are a little tricky. He has done some things to justifiably draw the ire of my friends, because they love me and only want the best for me. Some of the things Gordon has done arenít the actions of their ideal guy for me. Thankfully, things are starting to get better now and relationships are being formed and/or mended. So I am afraid anything I say about him now will ruin our progress and give fuel to the fire, creating more discord between all of us. And I donít want that.

I will say this. How do you know the difference between being supportive and giving unconditional love to someone and just being a fool, letting someone break your trust over and over again? I feel like maybe Iím being dragged down into a situation that is nearly impossible to extract myself from; but of all my options, I always seem to come out the loser, no matter what I choose.

I guess at this point itís about sacrifice. What I am willing to give up and what I am willing to not give up. I want to make things work, but I donít know how to fix the broken parts and I am tired of trying.

I have Ryland now and in the end, thatís all that matters. Itís just hard though. To feel so happy and fulfilled on one hand and so incredibly lonely and disappointed on the other.

Posted by christa at September 23, 2004 02:36 AM


Gordon is 23? Now you are 30? The average american emotionaly matures around 26. Men take alot longer than women. Its unfortunate (and fortunate) that your arms are full with Ryland but it could be a while before Gordon matures.
In the mean time you are the boss, be firm
and provide discipline tempered with love.

Posted by: DG at September 23, 2004 07:03 AM

Relationships are hard work. I'm certainly not an expert but I do know that being taken advantage of or for granted - well, a man who truly loves you won't do either. You probably already know in your heart whether or not he's really who you want him to be. I had to relearn to listen to my heart and my instincts. I don't talk on the phone much but if you need an ear, I'm willing.

Posted by: Lynette at September 23, 2004 09:36 AM

Trust your gut. Your brain is defective. But then again your gut is defective too. So trust your ass. Would you trust this man's fingers in your ass? My gut says no. My brain says only trust a gentle man. And this is your ass we're talking about. We haven't even talked about your baby yet.

Posted by: The Man With The Plan at September 23, 2004 11:12 PM

My money is on the fact that Dan wrote that up there. He has an ass/finger obsession.


Posted by: Tiffany at September 24, 2004 10:12 AM

How is it you know about Dan's ass/finger fetish?

Posted by: Morgan at September 24, 2004 05:06 PM

Don't you worry your pretty little head.

Posted by: Tiffany at September 24, 2004 05:35 PM

The Man With The Plan pans, "I'm no Dan."

Posted by: The Man With The Plan at September 25, 2004 12:46 AM

Damnit! Foiled again!

Posted by: Tiffany at September 25, 2004 10:18 AM

Figure out first if you are frustrated because he can't read your mind about how to act and live(women expect men to read their minds and get angry when they can't) or if he really is just defective. If it's the latter, dump the chump.

Posted by: Ann Landers at September 25, 2004 12:15 PM

I dont know anything about Gordon, truth be told, so i'm not sure what he's done or hasnt done, in which case it's hard to advise you. All I can say is, is he a positive and supportive force in your life? do you love him and vice versa? does he atleast have good intentions? is he respectful and kind and considerate? if there's more no's to those answers, then yes, might help you figure out what to do. He's only 23??? WOW! you're both at such different places in your life and emotional development. That's why I personally have a 5 year rule. I'd rather be alone, then with someone who doesnt fullfill my needs and who I feel i've merely settled for. I deserve better than that and so do you! maybe you guys oughta go on Dr. Phil :-) I realize he's the father of your baby and that changes all the rules, cause you two will be tied together inevitably for the rest of your lives. As Oprah would say, follow your gut, it wont lead you astray.

Posted by: celly belly at September 26, 2004 03:24 PM

Dump the chump or stump the rump.

Posted by: Your Gut at September 27, 2004 01:13 AM

Actually, my gut says "more pop tarts please."

cause I love pop tarts. brown sugar and cinnamon. mmm.

and gordon is 22, not 23. just barely older than ryland.

Posted by: christa at September 27, 2004 02:42 AM


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