The Sky is a Landfill.

There is no class anymore. I mean truly, just no class. I am not classy. Christa and class are not familiar friends. I am crude and rude, full of slacker carelessness. But I know what class is, what it means, and where it is woefully absent. I look around and I see nothing with class. Not any more. And honestly, it floors me.

I am the first in line to be classless! But when I see Tom Brokaw on Conan, making jokes about Paris Hilton’s sex video (or is it plural now?), I want to curl into a ball and writhe and wait for release, pure sweet release, please please, just give it to me, I am only human.

Can you imagine Walter Cronkite cracking one-liners about the dirty sex lives of his contemporaries? Christ in a bucket, James Earl Jones, the supposed paradigm of good taste, is selling PHONE TIME and “dancing” about it on national television. The only way to make John Wayne a shill? Wait till he dies, resurrect him in celluloid, and then begin administering the rape and degradation of his image. How fabulous! How perfectly delightful! The American Way! What dead celebrity can we next envision hawking televisions and cars and shoes and makeup and toys?

What does this say to you? No. Really. Let’s think about it. What is this telling you?

It tells me there is no grace left in this world. Can it be true?

I’m only looking for a little. It’s all I need. All we need. Is there no one left to inspire us?

Here’s a novel idea. Let’s honor integrity. Let us start immediately, today, right now. When I see Tom Brokaw peddling the wares of the classless, greedy media we’ve crowned King of America...well, we’ve got precious little integrity remaining. Once it’s gone, we’ve nothing left. Nothing at all.

new year's.

I was away in DC for the holiday. I hope everyone had a lovely winter solstice! I know I did. I quite enjoy having nothing to do all day but eat candy and watch movies.

Now I am back in Boston, with a nice little pile of goodies from friends, families, lovers and countrymen.

I had a lot of interesting thoughts on the drive both to and from Washington. Long drives are always good for interesting thoughts. But I can’t remember them all properly right now, so they’ll have to wait, but there were good ones to be sure!

I was planning on NYC for new year celebrations, but I have changed my mind and will spend it in my pajamas in a darkened corner of my bedroom, quite likely in a curled, rocking position. No I kid, but I have cancelled my NYC plans. These days, fun costs too much money.

wallace and gromit.

Who loves Wallace and Gromit? Everyone! Here is a special holiday-infused short that is quite lovely. I love those two, I wish they were my neighbors.

Speaking of neighbors, it is true what Robert Frost says. Good fences make good neighbors. Speaking Robert Frost, I love his poems. I haven’t read all of them or anything, but I love the ones I have read. They are snowy and quiet and very gentle to your soul. Speaking of gentle, I love the facial cleanser Cetaphil. I highly recommend it to everyone.

robots.

This story and these pictures make me happier than I could ever possibly explain.

Is eavesdropping bad news bears?

I overheard someone talking about me this weekend. Obviously, that person didn’t know I was listening. If she DID know, I guess she didn’t care. But I am fairly certain she did not realize I was within earshot.

I am not sure if I feel bad for eavesdropping. On one hand, it is troubling to hear someone talk badly about you. And who wants to feel guilty about listening in on someone else’s conversation? But on the other hand, it is good to know how someone truly feels about you.

We all have to pretend, to a certain extent. We all have to deal with people we do not particularly care for or enjoy. But we pretend. We play the game. We do it because we know that sometimes it is easier to act the part then be honest. Sometimes it is necessary; people at work, family members, a friend’s husband/boyfriend, children, old people...the list goes on and on. The effort it requires to be completely forthright is too much. Maybe we want to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. Maybe the benefit of being nice to the person far outweighs the cost of telling her off. Maybe we are just manipulative jerks. Simple cost-benefit analysis stuff here. But the end result is the same: not a single one of us can be 100% honest about another person 100% of the time.

The disturbing thing about what I overheard is that it came from a person that I believed genuinely respected me. I think it tripped me up so much because I was wrong, because I made a mistake, because I greatly misjudged someone. I am okay about it now, though. I bounce back pretty well. I am glad I heard what I heard. I feel empowered by it.

Actually, you know, now that I think about it, this entire weekend was a nice eye-opener for me. I gained a better perspective all around about those who respect me and those who just go through the motions...

We had our company holiday party on Friday night. I work at a small office, just 6 people. You would think that a small office would not have such drama, such tension, such politics. But it does! I think it might even be worse at times than the shit that goes on in a bigger company. And when you give people who work together in close quarters a bunch of alcohol, people who are all very different and don’t really like one another that much, then things are bound to go sour.

To be fair, nothing went horribly awry, but as I sat looking at everyone, watching them talk and eat and drink, I finally understood my place, I saw how THEY all see me. Everyone I work with grew up with certain advantages that I did not. They all come from families in the upper-middle class and higher. They all have a good bit of money and they all consider themselves “high culture.”

They look at me as a lesser person. A flaky girl from the west coast, someone with “mental issues.” Low class, no money, a MEXICAN for chrissakes. What could a Mexican possibly know about the finer things in life? I don’t wear makeup or dress fancy or act girly and frou-frou. I drive a shitty car. I don’t play by their stupid rules. I am a drippy hippie who doesn’t eat meat (which isn’t true, because I eat tuna!), the weird one, short and frumpy and bitter. I have liberal views and I am a feminist and I have no intention of getting married and having kids and settling down, just because that is what everyone else does.

I am carrying on a little here but my point is that no one at work respects me. Because of all those things and more. The posturing and the placating they did a few months ago when I was ready to quit was just that, nothing more, nothing sincere. I did not get the respect I demanded, just a pretty cake with sugary sweet icing and a hollow core. It is not in my nature to remain still for great lengths of time. What I have known for quite time was simply confirmed on Friday night. Time for Christa to move on.

happiness and cheer.

Based on feedback regarding my new look here at loafe, it seems like it is ace! I’m ace! Did ya hear that? I AM ACE.

Ace! As in swell. As in Ace. like, ace ace baby, too cold.

okay, I’ll stop.

So you know, I sort of miss coming up with a quotation. And it’s only been one day. How lame is that.

Tonight is my company’s annual christmas party. I love annual christmas parties. Mostly, I love the free alcohol.

I generally like this time of year. I like the smells and the colors and the warmness and egg nog and presents and lights and everything so sparkly, etc. But there are definite things I hate about this time of year, mainly: the lexus and kay jewelers commercials. I complain about them every year, because every year they make me want to claw my eyes out and shove hot pokers into my ears. And not just to myself, but everyone around me as well.

Regarding my links over there at the right, I thought I’d say a few words about why I chose each one. Be aware that these links will change as my mood sees fit...

daypop.com: This site is great for news stories, top articles, etc. and to see what is hot hot hot on the Internet. It’s all in list format to boot! And as you all know, I like my web sites like I like my sex: no-frills and easy access. Daypop fits the bill all the way.

crazy stephanie a: Stephanie is one cool chick. I don’t really know her very well, because she’s a stranger and lives in Phoenix and stuff, but she’s swell and she’s funny and she’s talented and she’s goofy and I like all those things in a person. She has a lot of creativity and a lot of motivation and she is the person maybe I wish I could be, if I weren’t so incredibly lazy. She would be my friend if we lived in the same city, I am sure of it. It isn’t just some delusional thought of mine, shut up.

picture phones = FUN: My friend Dave runs this site. Dave is so silly and fun and he makes me laugh and his pictures and captions make me laugh and he’s smart and kinda crazy. He helps me with things that I don’t understand and he plays a mean game of Scrabble. He makes a lot of money. He says things that most people are afraid to say. And he can be such a jerk. What more could a girl want?

flip flop flyin’: I would say this site is my Internet crush. My site loves this site. It is very creative and original and the guy who handles it seems like such a top notch guy. Ace in fact! ACE! Okay, so if you’re wondering where all this “ace” talk is coming from, I saw it in one of my favorite movies, 28 Days Later, and ever since then I kept thinking of how I could start incorporating that into my vocabulary without sounding like a dumbass. Then I realized that would never happen. I’m just a stupid american, so the dumbass part is pretty much inevitable. So I’ve given myself the okay to ace away.

sea of humanity: You know, I am not exactly sure how I stumbled on to this site. I think I was doing a search for something somewhere. Anyway, I took a few moments to read through it. It made me laugh and I could sense a lot of anger and hostility. But not in a “I’m such a macho badass, I’m gonna kick your motherscratching ass, don’t you look at my girlfriend like that” way but in a christa way, you know, with all the hating and the seething, but very quietly, on the inside.

older loafe entries: And older loafe entries are duh…older loafe entries. I figured I should put a link to those, for the people who love to go back and reread all my wonderful words (that should be all of you). For super duper way old loafe entries, visit this archive.

new look!

Well, I’ve gone ahead and changed things up again here at loafe.com. It’s all still a little new, so be forgiving if something goes wrong or you run into some sort weird issue or if it looks funny or doesn’t flow smoothly. Just be sure to let me know if you see something strange.

But all that aside, isn’t it exciting? The new look isn’t very fancy but I like un-fancy stuff. Plus, blue is always interesting and neat. I am trying to use the capabilities that come with something like movable type. The archive process should be a little easier and more streamlined, plus I can update as many times a day as I want and I can have comments on my entries and I don’t have to try and come up with a new quote and and and...well I am just excited for it.

I am not sure about the new comments section. I guess I care what people think, but at the same time, I really don’t care. We’ll see how it goes. If it starts to bug me, I’ll eliminate it. If I like it, then I suppose I’ll keep it.

No matter what, this is still a web journal, not a blog, and I don’t care what anyone says about that!

By the way, I still need to go winter solstice shopping. I have purchased this many gifts so far: 0.