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I went camping up in the mountains for a few days, I just felt the call. Come join us sister.

I’ve never been camping by myself. It was so much better than camping with others. I want to do it more often and in more remote places.

It was stage 1 fire restriction so I was allowed to have a fire in the camp site’s permanent built in fire pit.

Why is fire so amazing.

I kissed the flame. burned my arm. Because of course I did.

I did some witchy stuff, little rituals and some journaling, a few other things I won’t talk about. Made love to the darkness and laughed at man’s sins.

My camp site was right next to the river so I had the sound of running water all day and night, sometimes that’s all a tired brain and a tired body needs.

I shiver with delight I shiver with fear.

Also, I started therapy. Sigh.

If you drink a bunch of Diet Coke after midnight and then decide to start a big project and you cover your bed with so much shit that you couldn’t go to sleep even if you wanted to, so then you say fuck it and drink MORE Diet Coke and now you’re in a never ending cycle that you’ll surely regret tomorrow but that’s Future Christa’s problem, not mine. Not mine. My problem right now is that I need more ice.

How many dog toys is too many dog toys?

Oh, if this box was all I had. What is wrong with me.

This isn’t the moment. I don’t need to be in this moment. Make me go to sleep. There’s no one, there’s nothing, just go to bed you dumb whore.

GO TO BED

No how about instead I’ll think of this scene from la la land, its pure perfection. heartbreak isn’t even the right word for this. there is no word, it’s just… the moon turning the oceans and spinning the earth and on we go. On we go and we just go on.

So long cowboy.

In early spring I put up a hummingbird feeder. There has been exactly zero birds, humming or otherwise, interested in the feeder. Made me kind of sad. But whatever. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make birds drink your frigging red sugar beverage.

But today I saw, for the first time, hummingbirds at my feeder! Two of them. It made me very happy. Because a) it was my bday and b) hummingbirds were my mom’s favorite. So it’s like my mom was wishing me a happy bday, from the great hummingbird feeder in the sky.

Thanks mom. I miss you.