hmmm…

Okay, so someone must have complained to boston.com, because there is no trace of the little photo slideshow that I linked to yesterday. It was a series of five pictures chronicling a guy falling on the ice. It was awesome. I only saved the last one locally, my favorite: But I did find this animated …

For those of you who know me, and those who don’t but read loafe and bother to remember the dumb shit I talk about, you will know that I have been anti-Santa for all of ry’s short little life. I like the “character” of santa and I have nothing personal against the imaginary fellow, but …

There are moments of inescapable beauty in my life that I hope to remember forever, but I don’t always write them down. Even when I do write it down and go back later to read it, it’s hard to tap into the feeling of that moment. There are three moments I want to never forget. …

So I think ry is past the age of really cute animal costumes. I was quite partial to the tom arma costumes. They were freaking adorable, but only for little babies/toddlers. preschoolers, not so much. This year I asked him what he wanted to be for halloween, and he said a tree. And when I …

so this weekend I used a public restroom in which the toilet paper was like cotton candy. I don’t mean it was soft like cotton candy, I mean it had the texture, the substance, the integrity of cotton candy. It was flimsy and barely there and melted as soon as it got wet. I should …

I like and enjoy sex very much, but not with the same person. I hate it when it’s with the same person, it’s a slow slow t o r t u r e. could I type that word aannyy slower. because when it’s with the same person it reminds me of another when. A when …

on the way to work this morning, my cute fedex boyfriend got in behind me on the elevator and said “three please” and when I pushed the 3rd floor button, slowly, seductively, looking right into his blue fedex eyes, I knew he loved me. I said “you want me to push your button? this button …

This has to be the worst “article” I’ve ever read. Granted it’s from BostonNOW, a extra ordinary lame daily (the Metro is the other one, and it’s saying something when the Metro is a better read). I don’t know if I’m allowed to do this, but I’m going to type up the entire thing, because …

this is a video of ry in the bath the other night. it’s only a minute or so, be sure to watch till the end. don’t worry, he stays fully covered under the bubbles. it’s creepy the number of people that show up to loafe by doing searches for “naked baby” and “my son wants …

Turns out you CAN get pregnant through oral sex. Gina sent me a link to this article, and it dumbfounds me in so many ways. Not Gina sending me the link, she’s always talking to me about sperm and blow jobs and so much more, as she’s a total sex freak. The events described within …

I’ve got a real thing for laborers. I always have. There’s just something about them, in their grubby clothes with their disheveled hair and general overall griminess. They seem so tough, so manly, so very sexy. I’m not talking about the stereotypical fat, old, gross construction guy. ick. Younger, cuter. I used to know a …

I just listened to times like these by foo fighters five times in a row. No wait, six. A song that I’ve already listened to an uncountable number of times. I suppose it’s times like these that I like to listen to times like these. and what are these times? I dunno. times like these …

I’m giving up potty training. It’s a ridiculous, mind-numbing, patience-eating, happiness-destroying pain in the ass activity that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Just when you think things are going swell, when you’ve crossed the threshold, broken the barrier, made it to the other side, you find yourself buried in a silo’s worth of soiled bedding, …

Okay, so there’s this guy at the gym that I love very much and who needs to have my babies and have them very soon, or else I might die. I saw him last week as I was leaving, so I tried to sneak a few pictures of him from my cell phone, and these …

I have to wear this ridiculous boot on my leg. Because apparently I have a stress fracture in my foot. It’s so dumb. I look like an idiot. I have to wear it for a month! A whole goddamned month. Plus the doctor says I can’t go to the gym, all I can do is …

I want to stab her face off I want to bash a steel pipe over & over into her body and shatter every bone I want to stomp her into a flat pancake and pour syrup on her and eat her and let my stomach acids break her down then shit her out into the …

I was given the okay to enjoy my “random inappropriately religious” mug I picked up at Target in the after-christmas clearance sales. Here’s a picture so you can see why I love this thing as much as I do. Green tea has never tasted so rabbinical.

I think I have a stress fracture in my foot. This is based entirely on information I’ve culled from the internet, but the internet is a pretty reliable source for medical diagnoses.

so my fedex boyfriend and I had quite the exchange this morning at the entrance to my building. he was leaving with a handtruck of boxes just as I was arriving. He gallantly held open the door for me and I gallantly held open the door for him. Then he said, “you come first.” and …

what the heck. I made loafe my thursday divinity? Please. get out of here. I have the best thursday divinity a girl can ask for. I will be enjoying a frosty lime eegee in approx. two weeks. You heard me. Not Cherry Pucker, the flavor of the month (for real? cherry pucker? ewww), but frosty …

my divinity today is loafe. Here’s why. I spent an hour last night reading some of the newly discovered entries mentioned previously (okay, more like two hours). It was sufficiently embarrassing, as I knew it would be, but it was also really sad. Not pathetic sad. sorrow. actual sorrow. We’ll forgive in other people the …

I’m in a shit mood. It’s been this way since I woke up. The day isn’t getting better, but I guess it’s not getting worse either, so there’s that at least. I don’t know what my problem is, I can’t even blame PMS. I’m just so annoyed at everyone and everything, more than usual. You …

I’ve got to tell you loafe, I am getting crazy for those $500 headphones. You have no idea. I can’t stop thinking about them, how much better they are than anything I have, all the great things those headphones can bring to my life, how deliciously cozy they’ll be, slipping into my ears and engulfing …

my life is getting incredibly boring sitting here waiting for you. I am drawn to guys who have money and big dicks. G only has one of those two; since we’re continually broke, it’s not difficult to figure out which one. If I had to choose between the two, money or a big penis, I’d …

halloween is truly the most evil of all holidays. Not because of the scary movies and costumes and general spooky vibe. No, the evil is because of the candy. those devilish little miniature candies, snack-sized, fun packed and individually wrapped for your convenience. Candy everywhere, so easy to eat, so hard to resist. who can …

like crazy people who watch me blink, counting how many times I do it in a minute and furtively scribbling the results in a tiny, moist notebook.

I am trying to change the way I blink. My blink is so boring. No one cares about my eye blink. On the train I watch people blink. Some blink really fast, all the time, constantly. How can you even see, always blinking like that? They are hiding something, these blinkers. Maybe they’re all on …

My teeth, my teeth, my teeth, my teeth, my teeth, my teeth, my teeth, my teeth, my lovely lady nostrils

I’ve been journeying to Wisconsin lately, I’m not entirely sure why, but it’s been nice. The first time was a few weeks ago, I was flying through dimensions and found myself in cornfields and farms. I was back in WI, I wasn’t there for long, but it was nice, there was a deep sounding pleasure …

I was feeling a bit blue today, looking at the world with heavy eyes, dragging through mud and longing. At lunch, I grabbed my ipod and took a walk around, near Haymarket and Faneuil Hall, watching the people, taking in the scene. I don’t know if it was the weather, or Amy Winehouse in my …

Yesterday going home on the train, someone had colored in a few of the teeth of a person on an advertisement poster, so it looked like he was missing teeth. I didn’t want to find it funny, but I did. I always do. It’s so silly. It makes me laugh. Yes, missing teeth makes me …

I once fell in love with a guy because of the music he gave me. I still love him. because of the music. I don’t know if this is good or bad, I just know what it is. I like the way things look through a window streaked with rain and dirt. don’t you? don’t …

Seriously? You have to brush your teeth at work? It’s that important? You have to bring your gross toothbrush and stand there brush brush brush, where numerous people come in and out all day to relieve themselves of waste? I hate you. You’re not any better than me. You can brush your teeth all day …

I am not sure what it means exactly when you’re the writer of loafe.com and you spend a lovely saturday afternoon and on into the evening reading very very very old loafe entries, instead of being outside or with your family or cleaning or packing or any number of the things you need to be …

waiting for g to pick me up on a rainy boston day

It’s tuesday. I want to sit around listening to wilco and whiskeytown, getting drunk-nice, slow, easy. It’d be better to have someone along for the ride, but I’m okay doing it alone. Since I’m never alone, that leaves me with the g-man. Which is alright I suppose, I like the kid and everything, but all …

Today, the little guy turned 3. He still seems really little to me, I guess he always will. But jeez, he’s big. He’s officially a preschooler (although I have yet to find a remotely affordable school; also, apparently, I am about 7 years too late in the application/enrollment process. seriously). The actual day of his …

I changed into some workout clothes and was ready for the gym, but I decided to eat some chocolate chip cookies instead. I’m old, “married” and I have a kid. My life is over. Who cares anymore whether I do the gym or do the cookie, huh? who the eff cares. Listening to Amy Winehouse …

there’s a woman on the train right now and i cant tell if she’s pregnant or just has a belly. Do i offer her my seat? I don’t want to offend her. Why can’t someone else notice her and make the choice? Crap. Did i spell dilemma right? It looks wrong. i Need a fricking …

My thoughts have been running amok in recent months. I’ll find myself thinking about fantastical situations, even if they aren’t particularly appealing or interesting, and especially if they are kind of icky or even gruesome, and find myself barely able to control where they lead. Say I’m on the train and my attention is drawn …

It’s odd that it took this long, but I realized tonight that I can’t possibly compete with every single female in this world. Not that I ever literally thought “I am in competition with every single female in this world” and not that I even know what we’re competing for, against, or why. But somewhere …

I can barely keep my eyes open. all day I’ve been a zombie. braaaaaaainsssss. today’s sotd: southern sun – paul oakenfold (rename appropriately). It’s sung by a lady named carla werner and I don’t know what her other music is like, but she’s got a nice voice. You can find some good remixes of southern …

more good effing bands… they might be giants. Ozomotli. Flaming lips. Violent femmes. I want to dance to wilco or the refreshments or ryan adams. Radiohead. Twirl me on the quiet sexy parts. no one [someone] to dance with- it’s those lazy hazy days of sweet. Beers in limes, and low low lo-slung hips.

So I got this new cell phone and it’s rudy textable. Only I don’t know very many people, and the ones I do know hate me so much they won’t text me. I want to utilize the full capacity of my phone. I want to be part of the zeitgeist. I want to feel like …

I wonder what the library is trying to tell me. The last few books I’ve rented, or wanted to rent, have been available only in large print. What is up with that. So lately I’ve been having to carry around these giant books with this huge type. I kind of like it though, all those …

Okay the guys won’t understand this at all, but I’m sure at least one female reading will relate. God, I hope so. So you know how annoying it is when you go to put a tampon in and you drop it in the toilet before you get it where it needs to be. What’s even …

It annoys me that I’m not good with both my hands. I do everything better with my right hand. I’m all Parkinson’s disease in my left hand. It’s wrong to feel uncomfortable doing something with my left hand. It’s my own freaking hand and I feel weird using it. Not only do I feel weird, …

Sometimes, I wish I could just disappear. Not to some other different, better place, but just disappear, to nowhere. I don’t want to be dead, I just want to be not-existing somewhere (I guess that technically “somewhere” isn’t “nowhere” but do we really need to quibble). Then I wouldn’t have to worry about money or …

I loved my christmas tree this year. It’s almost january and I barely got to enjoy it and I am reluctant to take it down. I will though, after the first of the year. I’m tired of everything christmas. But I like it at night, when everything is dark, and the lights glow and shadows …

So I bought a Real Simple magazine the other day. Not for the first time, either. Because Real Simple is classy, I told myself. You could use a little class, I admonished. Now here is why I want to kill myself: Earlier this afternoon, I am reading RS and hating it, I’m talking absolute terms …

When is it safe to let go and when should you stay and fight? The eternal battle. Holding on. I do it too much. I’m very good at it. I’m an expert. I’m not a packrat, I’m a memory keeper. I have boxes of nostalgia, everywhere in my life. everywhere in my head. I stand …

There are a lot of kids in my new neighborhood. Like 75 or something. They’re always running around outside, every single day, in the yards and on the streets, laughing and talking and riding their bikes and jumping rope and whatever else it is kids do. It’s natural to assume that because I have a …

I’ve about had it with my current walk. It’s so boring and unexciting. There’s no flare, no interesting perspective, nothing to write home about. I’m not looking for some out-of-this-world walk, but something’s gotta change. I’ll settle for a new sway to the hips or maybe a different way to roll my feet. I’m working …

“I love you.” “I feel very guilty about what happened.” “I’ve never done this before.” “It was my idea.” “It wasn’t my idea.” “Your secret is safe with me.” “That looks really great on you.” “I didn’t eat any of those cookies.” “We’re just friends.” “Of course I came! Couldn’t you tell?” “I’m okay.” “I’ve …

Maybe I’m too cynical or maybe I’m just a plain old regular bitch, but when I read something on the internet and the author uses brackets and verbs to describe her physical actions/reactions, I want to jam a knife in her throat. You know what I mean. Not just emoticons (although I share a great …

I wonder how much money paint color namers make. You know, the people who come up with the names for paint. Names like: whispering pine, solar flare, fervent brass, song of summer, velvet evening, autumn mist, cucumber crush, frosted pomegranate, dreaming blue, book binder, pineapple soda. These are actual names of paint, no kidding. My …

There’s a very cute Irish guy here right now, plastering the walls. I wish “plastering the walls” was a euphemism for something more sexily raucous, but it’s not. A girl can dream, can’t she? Yes, yes she can.

I’m dreaming of San Carlos, the beach and the water and the cerveza. Everyone moves under water, fluid and floating. Skin is brown, limes are tangy, sunsets are blazing. I miss the wide smiles and all those stars, so many they’re practically raining down on us. Life in san carlos is lazy sweet, warm and …

I had a dream that I stole a green $800 stroller from some lady at a cafe, one of those bugaboo strollers. I just sort of sauntered up to it and carefully, quietly, gently walked away with it. After I stole it, I was rolling it around outside in a big parking lot, trying it …

Am I only the one who thinks that the Olympic coverage is totally cheeseball? Well, it is here in the US and I’m sure other countries are no different. Just something about the Olympics that brings it out in people. It makes me laugh. There is always a long, rambling backstory and so much drama, …

This swamp I’m treading through is because I can’t stop being angry, I can’t stop from saying, “if only” I can’t find forgiveness. I can’t let go. Forever blaming my past, I’m destined to drown in it. The anger is mine, I own it and I earned it. but it’s burning my tongue and scorching …

I was thinking about my loafe family tree idea and I wasn’t sure about the roots. Who would everyone in the tree stem off from? And I decided it should be me, walt whitman and the internet. this trinity makes up the whole, the loafe we know today. so it’s true that I’m feeling a …

I have a picture of my fake wedding with Gordon. It was taken using a Canon BPC 92a with a zoom lens. Pretty sweet.

Gordon and I got married over the weekend. Things should be interesting from here on out. in other news, I’ve decided the best way to prolong the appearance of wrinkles is to keep my face completely expressionless at all times. It should be a difficult task at first, but with patience and perseverance, I think …

I think that mixed tapes are easily one of the most reliable factors in determining if I like a person, especially when it comes to a more romantic/intimate nature. For instance, the boys that I always seemed most drawn to always gave me an incredibly good musical compilation. And if you can get me to …

I’ve got prune hands. No, okay, but I do like to do drawings. This a page from one of my notebooks. full drawing These are the individual pieces of that page: figure 1 figure 2 figure 3 figure 4 figure 5 I could have scanned this in better. I just didn’t. I wish I could …

So a few months ago, I was cruising around iTunes looking for new and interesting music and I found my way to a band called Arcade Fire. I listened and downloaded some music and found yet another great band. Then, a few weeks later, I’m watching Gilmore Girls (one of my favorite programs) and hip …

I’ve got some new photos of Ryland up and of course they are crazy cute. set 1 set 2 It had to happen. Sooner or later it had to happen. And for me, it was April 6th, 2005. I am talking of course about menstruation. Since November of 2003, I’ve been rag-free. That’s a long …

Don’t I look gorgeous? Of course I do! You can’t tell just by looking, but the reason I look so fab is because I am writing this entry on my new computer. my new iMac. I am loving it. It’s almost too sexy for me to continue writing. I feel special. I hate that buying …

Okay, they’re not literally falling on my head, but they are falling, and onto my roof. I have to say, I love being the only one awake in the house, listening to the rain. It’s a very warm, comforting feeling, like mother nature is letting me in on a secret. Ryland is six months old …

Ryland is killing me softly with his song, and his song happens to be not sleeping longer than 2-3 hours at a time. new movie coming to a theater near you: zombie mommy! watch as she pours juice all over the counter, missing the glass entirely! watch as she forgets her baby in the grocery …

On August 19th, at 8:41pm Tucson time, the most precious baby in all the wide world finally made his appearance. My little sweet pumpkin was born Thursday night, weighing an adorable 7lbs and measuring a lovely 19 inches. For pictures you can visit him here. The password for access is —. [dead link] Although he …

For those of you not reading the comment sections (shame on you) my friend Gina linked to a very funny review of some apparently very bad Mexican candy. I read it and it made me laugh and it cheered me immensely, so I advise you do the same. Thanks Gina! Also, now I am really …

Gordon and I have finally managed to both agree on a name for my baby. I was really fond of Max, but most of the people I talked to disagree with it. I think Max is a great name. Nobody names her kid Max anymore. Max! I just love it. G wasn’t too thrilled with …

One of the things about having a web site such as mine is that some of the readers, who are in fact complete strangers, think they know me and what I’m about. As personal as I am on this site, the christa you see on loafe is just a small part of the entire package …

Here is my ABC story. I like it. I procrastinated almost two weeks to do it and then had to write it quickly Wednesday morning, before work and class. It was hard work though. whew. I highly suggest everyone do this writing exercise. It was extremely useful and really makes you put in an effort. …

It’s way past my bedtime. I am tired but every time I turn out the light and try to sleep, nothing happens. I blink up at the ceiling and my leg twitches and my mind races and frustration sets in and I am ready to jump out the window and start hooting like a monkey …

I always used to wonder what was the point of life, what was the point of my life, why bother with anything. What did it matter? What was the p o i n t ? The answer is simple. Babies. They are the entire meaning of life. I used to think oh my the world …

Driving home tonight, I realized that I definitely need to find a way to work the phrase “lateral move” into my everyday conversations. Me: “Well, it is really just more of a lateral move than anything else Sally.” Sally: “What the hell are you talking about? Look, do you want to see Dirty Dancing: Havana …

I wish I drank coffee. I always see them, these coffee drinkers, walking around with their little paper cups of coffee, and I really want to be one of them, be a part of their world. I feel like I am missing out on something. I don’t know exactly what and that mystery is what’s …