A still life is the last I’ll see of you

When my mother died there were two songs that I kept playing. Not because they were her favorites or that it somehow made me feel a connection to her still. They were for me and I don’t really know why. they just helped me with my grief. Pillar of Davidson by live and death dream by frightened rabbit. Those two songs, over and over.

This is normal I think. Right? So what music helped you process your grief? Found the comfort in whatever way it could? What’s on our grief playlist

Nick’s new AirPods are too big for my ears they’re hurting. They don’t seem seem that amazing but I’m tired.

Do you remember the night we met? What would you do different.



Finding better stories

Trying to play crossword and spelling bee after taking an ambien is a strange experience. There’s all these words that people are telling you but they are not really there. The people. I mean kind of they are. But not. They’re waiting.

And the letters chase each other and find new stories elsewhere. Better stories.

The nice part of taking an ambien at night is having a shower with it and then laying on your fresh flowy sheets and with your bedroom window open and so there is a lot of cool rainy night air settling in.

This was a busy week for me, a lot of things happened. Also my wee one is wee no more. He’s an official teenager. It is as expected. I like little kids. Big kids are very trying. In these trying times. They try me.

I did watch hocus pocus 2 tonight with friends and now they want me to plug something in this is absurd I’m not plugging anything in. not my friends someone else.

October will continue to be busy. Ry to Hawaii. Nick and Ry to Disney. Me to nowhere. Me to here. Me to stay. Me to heal.

Then. November is Las Vegas. And then December is Reno. Lake Tahoe! Come to Lake Tahoe!

Then it’s Christmas my gosh. I can’t keep doing Santa for an 18 yr old can I?

My hair has grown out but I am considering cutting it short again. It was disconcerting at first but then I loved it? I think? I cannot find anyone to confirm or deny my request. Hair needs something tho that’s for sure. Can’t travel the world with this hair.

However my eyebrows received high praise from a high priestess. This lady concerns herself with the world of nice appearances and so obviously obviously my eyebrow treatment must have worked. I’m going to take these brows to the streets. To the world. Stand back baby. Here we go. After I take a nap. I’m sleepy.


Friday nite holy ghost part II

Nick is doing another sleepover and Ry works, so I have another sad old lady evening ahead of me.

Who will visit with me tonight? The possibilities.

Only Buffy isn’t on tonight. So I don’t know what I’m gonna do there. Maybe I’ll listen to some records.

All I need now are some Depends and my transformation will be complete.