It’s okay but I’m sorry.

I was wrong, I didn’t subscribe to the New York Times last night in an ambien haze.

Well, I sort of did. I subscribed to their games section. Which isn’t great, I know.

But see, I was playing their spelling bee game, and I got up to a certain score, and then it said “whoa you’re smart! If you get a games sub right now we will show you exactly what level of smart.” And so I subscribed. Which I guess means my level of smart is Stupid, because I’m now one of the chumps who gives money to the nyt.

I swear to god with that newspaper.

Please forgive me, I know not what I do after taking ambien.

I do like their mini crossword, I can’t help it, I am not made of stone.

Picture this

I took a sleeping pill like 3 hours ago and instead of making me sleep it just made me feel like I’m in a stop motion video. Everything is all choppy and disjointed but in a continuous way. Also, gray.

now it’s like almost morning or something and I AM STILL AWAKE and somehow I ended up subscribing to the NYT how am I going to undo that, stupid nyt no one’s impressed with you.

I’ve decided my new yarn project is going to be a bag of dicks. Let me explain. First I’m gonna crochet a bag. Then I’m gonna crochet a bunch of dicks. And finally, I’m gonna put all those crochet dicks in the crochet bag. Tada. Bag of dicks.

What then? Well then I’m gonna give that bag of dicks to someone who is a bag of dicks, or needs to eat a bag of dicks, or suck a bag of dicks? I’m not sure, it is unclear to me at this moment what insult I’m going to use it for, but it is definitely an insult.

Cause usually I say “oh that guy is a jerk! Go eat a bag of dicks!” but also sometimes I say “what a bag of dicks you are.” Or like maybe “tuukka can suukka bag of dicks.”

But hmm maybe I should not give a lovingly crafted beautiful yarn project to someone who is (or eats or sucks) a bag of dicks? Not much of an insult. “Here, person I do not like, take this lovely yarn bag filled with lovely yarn dicks, that I spent hours and hours making with my own hands, touching and stroking and crocheting.” Would you feel insulted? No you’d feel pretty special. Pretty rewarded. That’s the opposite!

How about this instead: you, my friend, can fuck right off with a big old bag of dirty dicks. and I’m not gonna give you those dicks I made. No! Go find your own! Asshole!

I do still want to make a bag of dicks tho. My auto correct keeps trying to get me to say bag of socks. Fuck off!

I’m going to bed now, stop motion bed, good night and quit being a bag of dicks. Just stop.

A ruby in a mountain of rocks

Meat loaf was in my top five on Spotify in 2021. It’s not like I’m some kind of mega fan, but for whatever reason, he was what I needed to get through year 100 of this g.d. pandemic. It was mostly during my night walks and showers, because his music is fun to listen to and sing with and dance to. Nothing highbrow or fancy, just very pleasurable.

Anyway, today loafe is just loaf.

Mom says no

How do you be encouraging, supportive and trusting of your nearly-adult child and his decisions, while also vehemently opposing his interest in the military and law enforcement (and in particular the marines)?

It is much like my dilemma when they were younger and wanting them to think for themselves and question everything, while also needing them to just listen to me and do what I tell them.

What if the choice is between him becoming his father or going into the marines? I’d have to choose marines right? They can be anything but their dad. Any. Thing.

But ANYTHING? anything at all?


I am not ready for this kind of stress.