live, love, loafe

July 12, 2004

making the baby jesus cry.

So even though I don't work at AEI anymore, my old boss is being the most awesome guy in the whole wide world. I know it's just the hormones but everything these days makes me cry. I got a very nice email from Mark and it just kills me. WHY IS EVERYONE SO NICE TO ME? I don't deserve it. I cry, I cry and the baby jesus cries and we all cry.

I am very thankful for my new place and that it has the most beautiful and delicious air conditioning in the whole wide world. I know it's just the hormones but everything these days makes me cry. In this humid monsoon weather right now, the a/c makes for a very happy christa. I cry and the baby jesus cries and the a/c cries and all of tucson cries.

I got the cutest ultrasound pictures in the history of ultrasound pictures. I have to scan them and then burn them to a CD and then bring them to a computer with internet access so I can post them. It's all a big hassle, but I'll do it, I promise. Because these pictures are too cute not to be adored and loved.

I also had my first childbirth preparation class over the weekend. It was interesting, not as lame as I thought it might be and I learned some new things. Then we watched The Video. I've been watching a lot of those baby shows on TV lately, and they show women giving birth, but everything is mostly blocked and you don't see much. It looks painful I guess, but mostly it seems like an okay experience. But The Video was not edited or blurred out in any way and we watched a woman push a baby out of her vagina. I used to be scared of turning 30. Now I am scared of turning 30 AND of pushing this lousy baby out of my tiny sweet small little vagina hole. I watched as this black hairy gooey bloody head pushed its way through the hole, and the lips kept getting stretched, bigger and biggger, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming out, because OH MY GOD IT WILL HURT SO MUCH.

Along with the baby, all sorts of strange fluids and substances came out as well. Very unpleasant looking stuff. Then, after the baby, you still aren't done. Next up is the placenta, which has to come out of that same little vagina. While the word Placenta may sound nice, like a sweet alcoholic drink or a fancy beach resort maybe, nothing could be further than the truth. The good news, I am told, is that after the baby, the placenta is no big deal. It doesn't hurt and it is pliable and easy. It is also very gross.

And then of course they showed the baby and the mother meeting for the first time and I practically started bawling. Those childbirth-video-making people sure do know how to rollercoaster your emotions. sheesh louise.

Okay, so in a week I'll be turning 30. Feel free to browse my wish list or just send me cash. And while we all know that I'm turning 30, I am actually just turning 22. Yay! I like 22. That's a good age.

Posted by christa at July 12, 2004 02:45 PM


Christa can you please indulge me and explain the whole "baby jesus cries" thing? The first time I read it I figured you were on some great drug, but since I know that is not the case now I would really like to know what the hell you are talking about.

Posted by: Marianne at July 12, 2004 04:03 PM

So it was kinda funny. Today I was thinking how Christa's bithday was coming up and couldn't figure out what the hell to get her. I was thinking and thinking and thinking. Then I realized even if I wanted to get her a present, what the fuck would I do with it. I have yet to get an email from her, let alone a mailing address and since she has yet to get a phone, I'm sure as hell not getting a phone number anytime soon, so i definately got over it and thought I was free from purchasing her a birthday present. Then I checked loafe, and sure as shit, in true Christa fashion, she has a gift registry. So I don't know if I should thank her or curse her....

~feel free to call collect one of these days or just return and email every so often to say hey, i'm alive, baby is alive and gordo is too...

Posted by: Neely at July 12, 2004 04:53 PM

Placentas aren't vegetables? Why did I think thos egre win gardens....I must be mixing something up. Glad all is well.

Posted by: Monkeyspit at July 12, 2004 11:52 PM

making the baby jesus know Marianne, I am not really sure where that comes from exactly. I remember my friend Celeste used to say it all the time, when we lived together in CA. I probably picked it up from her. It is very funny and it makes me laugh.

Also, monkeyspit is right. Placentas does sound like it grows in a garden. It looks like it might as well. A garden in the depths of hell run by a demon ogre.

Posted by: christa at July 13, 2004 09:03 PM


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