loafe.com

The search for my signature cocktail continues.

so far, I’ve learned that my signature cocktail is… beer.

I shall carry on.

Okay I’ve deleted my account. Everyone’s profile was all “I love camping and hiking and skiing and working out and riding my Harley” ugh.

Meanwhile, my profile is “I like watching tv and crocheting and being left alone except every couple of days when I want to have sex and then you go away again.”

Okay not really, I didn’t say that. but in the hour I was on there I didn’t get a single match. I was perhaps swiping above my pay grade.

So instead of tinder, I’m gonna watch my favorite scene from John Wick while I wait for the bruins game to start.

I hate everything.

Is it bad to swipe right because you like his dog?

I want to meet his dog. Him? Meh.

So my new favorite hobby is taking a selfie and then circling all my flaws and problem areas. Kinda like what a plastic surgeon would do during a consultation.

It starts off like this:

Then I go back and add a bit more:

And finally, after just a little more, here’s where I end up:

While I agree that this new hobby is totally normal and healthy (and something I’m very good at), perhaps I need to find one where maybe I’m nicer to myself.

Joining tinder again but never swiping right!

Making tamales!

Yoga with baby goats!

(No, really. It’s an actual thing. You do yoga and a bunch of baby goats jump all over you.)

Cutting out and cataloguing various recipes and workout tips from magazines!

Finding new uses for old calendars!

Candles!