With ginger, the best way we know how, cozy on the couch.
Ringing in the new year
Tennis balls in the snow
Ginger loves tennis balls and she loves this nerf gun we have that shoots the tennis balls.
She goes absolutely nuts over it.
Then when it lands in the snow she loves digging it out.
She is the cutest bestest dog ever and I am going to marry her.
Dreams and spritzers
I am okay with being alone. then I’ll dream about dating someone, or kissing someone, or being intimate with someone, and the sensation, the experience, the feeling… it is so pleasurable, so electric, it overwhelms me. It’s like a forgotten memory is suddenly alive again, new yet familiar, lighting up all the dark places.
Even when I wake up, I can still taste that yearning, it lingers all day, burning on my tongue, tingling in my toes.
these dreams do leave me feeling a bit lonely. I don’t want to be in a relationship but I want… something? I don’t know. Sharing a quiet connection with someone, wordless, without shape or form, but seeing it there, in his eyes as he looks at me. With a man that doesn’t make me feel weird or uncomfortable or annoyed.
My best (looking) days are behind me, so the odds are not in my favor. I wouldn’t say the future is hopelessly bleak but it is concerning and uncertain.
What I’m trying to avoid, with limited success, is belittling myself. I don’t need to lay siege upon my confidence by listing all my flaws, questioning my value, asking what about me is even worth anyone else’s time or attention.
What I’ll do instead is focus on my 2023 resolutions. I have two right now. Secondary resolution is learn to knit. Primary: find my signature cocktail.
I’m gonna start with a cranberry spritzer I think. Or a peppermint mocha smuggler. Even tho both of these are wintery/christmasy drinks that I might not want in summer, trying them is PART OF THE PROCESS okay? I HAVE TO TRY THEM ALL.
if you have any suggestions for me, drop it in the feedback box on the counter.
Single and ready to jingle
Happy winter solstice. My favorite night.
I love how tonight, the longest night of the year, is also the coldest. and it snowed. The snow brings an eerie quiet. I do wish I could have spent some time outside but we have negative temps right now and a crazy wind chill. My quick dash outside to breathe in some of that cold crisp air and then back inside to the warmth is going to have to suffice.
I didn’t light a fire nor did I bake anything today. but I did do my candles and set my intentions and a few other of my little winter night rituals.
Damn I really should have done a fire. I guess it’s not too late. I’ll go do one now for a little bit and then go to sleep. Gone are the days when I could stay awake all night. plus I have work tomorrow and blah blah blah.
If you’re looking to read a gorgeous solstice/Yule story, I recommend half spent was the night. It’s a sequel of sorts but you don’t need to have read the first book. It makes it more interesting tho.
Now the wheel turns and we begin to move to the light.
But I love this time between solstice and New Years. Happy Yule to you.
