the coolest lame job ever.
I wonder how much money paint color namers make. You know, the people who come up with the names for paint. Names like: whispering pine, solar flare, fervent brass, song of summer, velvet evening, autumn mist, cucumber crush, frosted pomegranate, dreaming blue, book binder, pineapple soda. These are actual names of paint, no kidding. My favorites I think are fervent brass and pineapple soda.
It’s not fair. Somewhere out there, someone is getting paid to come up with Kiwi Squeeze and Breath of Spring, for two similar shades of green.
And these are just the names from the Behr line of paint. They’re like this for every brand. So many colors, so many awful cheeseball names, so little space to name them all. But trust me, they’re all horrible.
I want that job. I could do it easy. Right now, off the top of my head, I’ve got three great names. Eclectic Vagina. Burning Urine. Weary Rain. Boom boom boom. Give me $1000 please Behr. Or Sherwin-Williams. Or Glidden. or Dutch Boy. Or any other paint company out there. Come on! These are valuable names. I’m going to copyright them, so when you have a new paint color, you’ll have to pay me exorbitant sums to use them. They’re awesome frigging names. And I wasn’t even trying! Imagine what I could come up with if I put a lot of thought into it.
Seriously, what a cool, totally lame job.
Trivia time: Kiwi Squeeze is not only a Behr paint color, but also the lethally painful final manouvure in the five step deadly martial art “Monkey Steals the Plum!”
I have a friend that works at Benjamin Moore…I could probably find out more info on how paints are named if you really wanted to know.
I bet they have copywriters who do that for them. That was the job I had at Advance Auto Parts (like and auto zone) – except I got to name totally boring crap like their battery line or a new window washing fluid. But, it was just me baby! Oh, the power I had!
as you can tell from my haphazard writing skills i sucked as a copywriter. you need to be detail oriented. just typing “detail oriented” makes me laugh. this caused me a lot of stress. you might like it though.
i just thought of something brilliant! rework your resume and change some of your job titles to whatever/copywriter. you write stuff right? do you ever write ads for them? catalogs?
copywriters make good money. my freelance rate was $60 an hour. if you could do more technical writing you’d make even more. I think you’d be excellent at it.
One of our old clients actually came up with those color names, http://www.colormarketing.org/. That is so funny. Every time we did an update for their site with new colors names we would just laugh.
But, I would have to say Burning Urine is still may absolute favorite!!!
Come on now. Clearly “eclectic vagina” is the best.