My gallery is open
He messaged me Friday. Out of the blue. About the weather. I waited two whole entire hours, but I did respond. Of course I did.
But loafe, loafe… I was good. I was so good! I am kind of proud of my restraint. I mirrored his demeanor and tone perfectly. I only spoke when spoken to, so there was no feeling of being left out there hanging on a limb.
We have exchanged maybe 2 dozen messages since then. All about the weather and fall.
But why? Why did he reach out? I don’t understand. He didn’t want me as a lover or a friend. I didn’t push it and I left him alone and then after a week and a half, he texts me. about the god damn weather. It doesn’t make sense. Why why why.
But you know, it was okay because talking about the weather felt safe? No one ever fell in love talking about the fckn weather.
So I played along. Even though these “innocent” texts about the weather wreaked havoc with my progress. set me off balance again. I hadn’t cried or thrown up for like two days and I was starting to not feel so rotten and insecure every single waking second.
Then his real intention became apparent. He started toying with me again, being clever and cute and sexy, drawing me back into his seductive web.
there he is. Wanting me. I’m all in. I’ll always be in. We went as far as he wanted. Lord have mercy on me, was it ever good. All this longing and yearning and pining built up in me. Just waiting and growing. Desire and rejection. Insatiable hunger, pushed down deep. Wanting release.
And he sent me spinning, like a top.
I would have gone farther. His sexual energy does something to me like no other.
I’m feeling okay about it all right now. Ask me again in the morning.