Lessons to learn
Alright, I’m feeling much better. I was a little desolate last night, but I’m being gentle with myself today. And with him. Because it’s okay. He’s allowed to change his mind and set boundaries and do what is best for him, the why of it doesn’t really matter.
And I’m allowed to feel sad about it. I am allowed to miss him. It feels good to miss him. It’s healing.
No one is wrong or bad here. It just is.
So that’s what’s making me feel better. That I don’t have to be mad at him or hate him. I don’t have to regret anything. I can just let us be.
of course I still need to get an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind going up in here, because duh. I’m being forgiving and gentle but I’m also human with human emotions and it sucks.
A lesson from all this is that I thought I wanted causal sex and no commitments. And I do still want that. but the possibility exists that I might want more from someone. Not sure who, or if I’ll ever meet him, but it is possible.
I have accepted a date with someone else tomorrow night because why not. He doesn’t want me but this guy tomorrow does. So why not.