Ry time! Also, I talk about my period…
I’ve got some new photos of Ryland up and of course they are crazy cute.
set 1
set 2
It had to happen. Sooner or later it had to happen. And for me, it was April 6th, 2005. I am talking of course about menstruation. Since November of 2003, I’ve been rag-free. That’s a long time, my friends. I’ve tasted freedom and I liked it.
Now I’ve got to join the stupid world of the bleeding vaginas again and I’m not happy about it. sigh. I enjoyed not buying tampons or ruining underwear or dealing with cramps and avoiding that overall general sense of blahness every month.
But I’m nothing if not a silver-lining kind of girl. I was worried as all hell that I would have to start buying the super big, crazy absorbency tampons just to keep them in (because I’ve heard from other mothers about how after giving birth, some women can’t even USE tampons anymore. Funny how pushing frighteningly large objects through that teeny tiny vagina area stretches things out a bit) but the regular size that I used pre-pregnancy was all I needed. I filled them up a bit quicker, but the fit was fine. In fact, the super big ones were too big. Whew. I don’t know why this makes me feel better, but it does and I’ll take every little bit I can get.
I think I’m going to ask my iMac to marry me. He’s the prettiest boy I’ve ever dated. Okay, I know that my computer isn’t a boy and I know that we’re not dating, but I have dreams too you know and if a man can marry another man and a woman can marry another woman, then why can’t I marry my computer? why?
why?
Ryland is cuter than 156 bee’s knees & 100’s of shiny buttons. Now that you have the perfect baby,
maybe, now this is just a thought so dont get all angry, but since Ryland is the best baby ever created you could have a hysterectomy and then you wont have another child, youll avoid all the problems associated with the plumbing , youll never need birth control, or worry about ovarian cancer or hot flashes and so on. Only a thougtht!
DG, I’m guessing you’re a guy, based on your comment.
Yes a guy, and a lousy one at that. But it was ONLY a thought!! But I am serious about Ryland being very cute and wishing well. When Christa presents a situation I think of solutions in analytical terms, hence my trouble.
Well, gosh, DG now that my husband and I are done having kids, maybe I will suggest to him that he go ahead and get neutered! He would avoid all the problems associated with testicles, he wouldn’t ever need to worry about birth control or testicular cancer and plus it would take away that darn pesky libido! Sounds like a peachy idea to me!
My friend Tom did just that. At 46 he had his fourth child and had stretched the limit to have time and money to properly support that child much less any new ones. And since sex is such a spontaneous and unpredictable event; condoms, spermicides, and birth control where burdensome and not to “sexy”. Since a hysterectomy is a lot more dangerous and expensive he had himself snipped.
But then he has no plans to leave his wife of 16 years. And now 4 years later he reports no problems with libido.
I am not advocating hysterectomies just pointing them out. My sister Dorry just had a third child at 39 years old, but she can more than afford a high quality life for the child. She could have 3 more and put them all through private schools and college.
I know a girl from Texas named Donna, she is roughly 30 and suffered for years fron endless cysts and tubular pregnancies and missed alot of work getting scraped and other procedures.She finally opted for the hysterectomy as a solution to her partcular situation. Her problems where caused by youthful promiscuity and pelvic inflammatory disease, caused by repeated bouts of Chlamydia.
I just spoke to a girl on the phone named Contessa… How often does that happen?
Contessa, Contessa. It sort of sings dont it!!??
Well, you could always do what i’m gonna be starting this menstrual cycle and that’s birth control that you take continuousely, you throw out the weeks worth of sugar pills and just keep taking the regular ones, to make you period free and in my case, pms free! which is why i’m starting em. Think I was one of those PMDD women. About the 4 month you get some breakthru bleeding, which can be a little heavy, but doesnt that beat bleeding every single, friggin month? my OB/GYN I went n’ saw explained to me that it’s completely unnecessary for a woman to have a period every month. So I look forward to blood free & moodswing free months, WOO HOO!!! you know what really pisses me off? they have Viagra, Cialis and Levitra and they’re even coming out with a 4th sex drug for men here soon and there’s yet to be even ONE for women. Sure, Bob has his choice of shit to take to counteract the sexual side effects from his high blood pressure medicine, but I have nothing to help counteract the sexual side effects of the antidepressant i’m on. What the fuck?! as if a woman’s libido just isnt as important as a man’s. Now given, I realize a woman’s workings are more complicated, then a man’s and probably not as easy to fix, but you think they’d atleast be close to having something for all us women out here who want our sex drives back, damnit! of course, unlike the drugs for men, most of which are covered under insurance, i’m sure the one for women, wont be! just like alot of birth control still isnt. So ridiculous! even in 2005, it truly is still a man’s world. Btw, today is Bob’s and my 5 month anniversary. I cant really say where our relationship is going, he’s already planning marriage, kids, etc… where as i’m much more a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal, so it’s posed some problems. The most I wanna plan out is what we’re gonna do next weekend or what trip we might take over the summer. He’s already talking about getting engaged later this summer, then married in the spring, even has the church picked out. Now wouldnt this make most girls happy? where as with me, it just freaks me the hell out! Thank God I have Etta to soothe my weary soul. Been playing the hell outta her CD, that I picked up a couple weeks ago. I think I was a black, blues singer in a past life, yeah.
OMG Can I bite his cheeks once plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?
Oh yeah, cute ass baby, btw!
CB.. I am on Lexapro 10 mg’s a day since September for Panic and anxiety attacks. For the first 4 or 5 months Mr Thang was dead to the world, now it is making itself known again and that it has interests. Good luck to you and your plans for freedom!
Yeah, i’m on 300mg a day of Effexor, which is almost double the average dose, so it definitely hits the ol’ sex drive pretty hard. I have Panic and Anxiety Disorder as well and it helps with that, along with the Klonopin I take twice a day, just the side effects suck :-( although a friend of mine has reccomended trying Welbutrin along with the Effexor to help counteract that, so I might give that a shot. Anyway, glad Mr. Thang is back up and hard at work ;-)
I wont get into the details of why I get P and A attacks, at this writing because it would be long and arduous. But I was getting them so bad after I stopped drinking 3 years ago that I could barely leave my home, I mean they where terrifying . You cant breathe , the world starts to swim around you, your gut turns to stone the sun is to bright, its to cold, its to hot!! Sweat streams down your face, racing heart is pounding out of your chest. Flashing images of all the crappy people places and situations imaginable race through your head AND YOU CANT MAKE IT STOP. But Lexapro did. The first two weeks it was almost like taking poisonous acid. I would wake up in the middle of the nit fixated on suicide But I stuck it out because my P and A’s where debilitating. I would get
5 in half an hour!
After two weeks it started getting better, now there is no side effects and the world is wonderful!! I sometimes forget I am taking it and have to make sure I take it! like now!
Unfortunetely I know all too well those exact symptoms, although i’ve never had 5 in that short of a period, the most was 3 in one day. For people who havent experienced an actual panic attack, words dont even begin to describe it. One of my friends witnessed mine and said it was “horrifying to watch” was in absolute shock. He said he had no idea that’s what one actually consisted of. Thank God for modern medicine though! when I first started getting em about 11, going on 12 years ago, there wasnt even a name for it, that was the worst! just thinking I was crazy and making routine trips into the ER, afraid I was dying. Anyhoo, i’m glad you’ve found something that helps you and arent suffering negative side effects. Perhaps I should look into that Lexapro. Thanks!
Getting them stuck in traffic is the worst! Do you leave your car, do you run into the woods ? Do you pound on the windows of other cars and beg for an ambulance? Then traffic starts moving again and you know you are ten feet closer to your home and you feel better for a few minutes then it starts all over again. It got so bad I was worried it would cause a car accident.. and that made it worse. Be warned though, starting Lexapro was almost worse than the disease. It took two weeks before I thought I might be sane. One nite I even thought of calling the police so they could watch me so I wouldnt do anything self destructive, and I never had those kind of thoughts before!
so cute, christa!! i love the “standing tall” picture. he just looks so little and chubby and cute!! i just want to squish him!
p.s. is this the dg website or yours??? *sigh*
I dont see anything wrong with DG and I sharing our similiar experiences with panic and anxiety disorder. Thought this comment section was open to everybody to talk about whatever they wanted too. If Christa has a problem with it, then she should say so, but I think your comment about this becoming DG’s website *sigh* was rude and uncalled for. To DG, I dont drive, so atleast i’ve never had to deal with getting a God forsaken panic attack while I was driving, but how horrible. It definitely helps to know there’s other people out there who suffer with the same thing and that there’s hope and help out there for us, cause it’s a terrible and debilitating disorder.
Okay, I need coffee and I need it now!
I hope, Christa, I am not overstepping my posting but I am a post-a holic and I have found some good people on this site. Christa, of course, Tiffany,CB,Brasten, Schmatrick, Lynette, Marianne and many others all say valuable things. And its fun. And its helpful, righ?
People are welcome to post anything they want about any subject they want for as long as they want, as long as in the end it always comes back to me and how ab fab I am.
And of course how adorable my baby is.
Whew Yeah!! Long live Christa the Great, Mother of Ryland the Great!!
As much as I’d like to support you, Christa, and your desire to marry your iMac, it’s worth pointing out that unless you live in Mass. still, men CAN’T marry men and women/women like you suggest, and thus you can’t marry your iMac.
However, what you do in your bedroom is your business, so have at it.
=)
I realize I need to get my ass down there to Tucson and come visit you, Christa! but it wouldnt be till AFTER summer, seeing as i’m English, Dutch, Irish and Norweigan and my people in that kinda climate, I think I would burst into flame as soon as I stepped off the plane. I miss ya though and want very much to have an opportunity to spend some time around Ryland, corupt him to my dirty, evil, single girl ways ;-) you think I could turn him into a future dragqueen within a weeks time? i’m coming feather boa and showtune cd’s in hand. Yee Haw!!!
Hey, CB & DG, you guys are doing real well.
If I don’t want to read your entries about panic attacks then like everyone else I can just skip them but like everyone else I find them harrowing and compelling reading. I admire with quite some awe the work you’ve had to put into yourselves to fit into what is still a very conformist world that is unforgiving of difference, especially weakness.
That is maybe something loafe readers probably all have in common, that we are all a little bit out of step with the general populace whether we want it or not, and some definitely more than others.
Long live the Loafe for giving us all a place to turn to and feel part of something…
Nicely said, Simon. Although I consider myself far from weak, if anything, I feel this has made me much stronger then alot of my friends who are my age. I hate to say it, but you know the old saying “what does not kill us, only makes us psychotic, um…. I mean, stronger” :-) it’s so true. Although society DOES view it as a weakness. But it’s surprising just how many Americans are afflicted with either depression, anxiety or both. Something like 19 million.
Okay, i’m off to my friends bowling/karaoke party now, where I will proceed to throw a night full of gutter balls, drink Budweisers out of bowling pin shaped bottles and belt out ‘Delta Dawn’ like nobody’s business ;-) Yee Haw! and God Bless America!!!
Simon, if you had met me a few years ago when I was doing construction and stocking roofs with construction material and working for my brother doing all kinds of physical labor, looking weak did not enter into the minds of the young punks on dope I confronted working as a bouncer at a rock and roll road house. Ive had my share of bar brawls, Ive broken peoples ribs and had my ribs broken in fights. I am not proud of those things. But at 260 pounds 6’2″ and shoulders of 50″, I could hold
my own. Panic attacks and anxiety stem from child hood trauma created by my drunkin father who beat and strangled my mother and terrorized me and my siblings. After I stopped drinking several years ago my self medication came to an end and the trauma expressed itself. But thats why there are psychiatrists and drugs like Lexapro. Thanks for your interest, harrowing reading..did you hear
that CB !!! Cool!!
PS the first time I had to beat the shit out of my dad because he was attacking my mother I was 13..
The first time he knocked me unconcious I was 8 or 9.