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We bought a new TV, one of those flat HD televisions, for our new place. I was excited about this at first. It isn’t one of those huge ones, because we couldn’t afford it, but it’s big enough, and better than any other TV I’ve owned.

I also use directv. I prefer them over the cable companies. Or at least I did, anyway. With the purchase of this new TV, I’m learning the ways in which a company like directv likes to give it to you in the ass.

I’ll break it down for you.

First, you have to “upgrade” your regular receiver to an HD one. Okay. Makes sense I guess. The standard receiver for HD is $100. This is the “leasing price.” Which means of course that you don’t own the equipment. There is also an additional leasing fee of $4.99 per month.

If you want your HD receiver to be a DVR, as I do, that costs $399. Again, this is the leasing price. And of course the leasing fee of $4.99 a month.

That just covers the equipment. You have to also subscribe to the HD package, which is an additional $9.99/month, on top of the service you’re already getting. If you want your local channels (NBC, CBS, ABC, etc) in HD, you have to buy the “off-air” antenna for another $50. If it’s available in your area, that is.

And you have to commit to a two-year contract.

Ahhh. Isn’t it lovely. Thanks directv, I love a good ass-reaming, especially when it comes with the privilege of watching television.

Just letting everyone know, waiting for me on my TiVo tonight is the 1985 Anthony Edwards classic Gotcha. That’s right. It’s Friday night and Christa is going to party.

After Ry is fed, bathed and put to bed, I’m gonna grab a nice cold Killians, open a delicious bag of pirate’s booty, and revel in some sweet ’80s era glory.

Please, hold your jealousy. You can join me in spirit.

That’s sort of my attitude these days. everything’s meh. I’m not depressed or anything, I just feel meh. I meh at my meh.

I’m bored with being so bitter and cynical. And what’s it for? It doesn’t matter. Sure I see the world as it is, not how I want it to be (conversely, and pointlessly, I see myself how I want to be and not how I actually am) and wouldn’t I love to be blissfully ignorant. I am rankled by so very much, politically, culturally, socially; all the “ally” you can think of. Plenty to get worked up about. So much to drive even little mary sunshine batty.

Only in the end, none of matters. I can hate and sneer and rage against all, and still the world will do its thing. The universe will keep expanding and people will continue getting old, good things will happen, bad shit will go on, nature will have her way with us, happy moments in between everything else…and my bitterness over the whole mess will only have served to make me more tired than I need.

Not that I’m suggesting I’m going to change my ways. I’ve tried. I’ve turned the other cheek, I’ve smiled instead of smirked, I shook it off rather than held on to it, but it didn’t do anything. It just didn’t work. I cannot fight who I am. It goes against every fiber of my being to be nice to assholes (including myself). I am a much better bitch than a sweet cherry pie. So it will eat me up faster than if I didn’t worry so much about it. Life’s gonna kill me no matter what, so I may as well enjoy my unenjoyment of it.

Of course, all this pissiness of mine could be related to the fact that it’s been almost 3 fucking months since we closed on our goddamned house and we’re still sleeping on the fricking floor of my mother-in-law’s* tiny apartment, in the same bedroom with the baby, and I cannot take it anymore. I just can’t, I can’t can’t can’t can’t I’m braaaaainnssss.

*technically, she’s not my mother-in-law, but she is in all the ways that count, which means she makes me insane on a daily basis and I’m going to kill her.