Was I in your dreams
I have a regular dream where I’m with Eddie at his place, when his wife comes home. Sometimes she finds me and sometimes she doesn’t, but in all the dreams we never actually have sex. We are about to or it’s clear we just finished. But last night was the first time (that I remember) where we actually had sex in the dream. So she comes home and I’m laying there under the sheet and it’s all so awful and I want a hole to swallow me up, and their kids are there too, only they are young still and ahhhh!!
I don’t know why I dreamed about him last night. HE IS DEAD TO ME.
And it can’t be out of guilt. I’m not even seeing any married dudes.
Get one of my head Eddie Turd Face. we are not interested in your dumb turd face.
Maybe it has to do with my tinder boyfriend I’m desperately in love with. he pushes me away and then pulls me right back in and I’m helpless to resist. It’s actually very annoying. Be cool christa. BE COOL.
I don’t want it to be just sex but I don’t want to be just friends but I don’t want to be in a relationship but I don’t want to be alone. I’ll be glad when this new relationship energy phase goes away and I can figure out how I actually feel.
Even though this feels different than the NRE I’ve experienced with other men. But I’m not going to think about this. I’m going to ignore it. All I’m feeling is new crush excitement and it’s transitory and I’m fine. You’re fine. We are all fine.