Madness
Four weeks. It’s been four weeks exactly since he first messaged me. “I bet my pizza wedge is better than your pizza wedge.” (Don’t ask but just know that my profile is really cute and clever and funny and it has to do with my pizza wedge skiing skills.)
I had no idea that those first few messages would take me down a path into a place of total madness. I don’t know how to explain it, other than madness. What I’m experiencing is madness.
This man has me completely turned around and upside down. We are light and casual yet crushingly intimate and serious. We are taking things slow and easy, exploring each other at a leisurely pace, but actually we are wholly wrapped up in and around each other, like some kind of twisting vine, and we’re speeding towards some unknown finish line.
He challenges me. Confuses me. has me questioning everything I thought I knew about myself and what I want.
I don’t like it! It is so unsettling.
But I kind of love it.
It’s all just new relationship energy, right? This isn’t sustainable. So I’m going to just go with it. Revel in it for as long as I can. And then, when it shifts, we’ll see where we end up. Maybe we go our separate ways. Maybe we get married. Maybe we become some third thing.
God he’s so dreamy.