Brad Pitt, in the sexiest film role of all time.
Ed Norton is a close second.
Marla is pretty hot too.
And then there’s the music. my god. Maybe the music is the sexiest film role of all time.
But really it’s just the whole movie, all these parts combining together, making something amazing. I don’t think I’m the intended audience though.
Then maybe you should not have put brad pitt in there, looking like this:
Holy hot tamale.
I’m having a hard time falling asleep but I waited too long to take anything, so now I have to distract myself. But not too much. Just enough to feel sleepy but not so much that my mind gets lost in a forest of worry.
Talk to me. Tell me stuff to make me sleepy.
I started a new book the other day. Is it possible that I took ambien one night and wrote it and shopped it around and found a publisher and they published it and then I went to bed and woke up and forgot about it entirely and now I’m reading it and it’s my book? I feel like this is exactly what has happened.
For example. Here are the last two lines I just read:
“When men stop wanting to fuck you: poof! You disappear.
I took three Xanaxes and watched bob’s burgers on my laptop till I passed out on the couch.”
See what I mean? those are quotes from the book, not from loafe. I swear!
But, alas, the book is not mine. Because I would not have pluralized Xanax. it sounds weird with an es. It’s just Xanax, no matter how many you take.
I feel a little inspired though, knowing that perhaps one day I too can publish my shitty self-involved writing in book form.
But first, another episode of bob’s burgers.
I’ve decided that for my first toastmasters speech I’m going to talk about essential oils. Should be pretty great. four full minutes of essential oil talk.
Or maybe four mins about my favorite bobs burgers episodes (which actually includes an essentials oils episode).
Or my dog. who I love so hard. Four mins about my ginger binger ginger pie. I could use the entire time just rattling off a list of the various nick names I call her and the songs I sing her. LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS:
Plenty of great options.
Anyway my speech is at the end of the month. So I gotta write it and then I have to practice it since there are all these dumb rules. like I’m not supposed to seem like I’m reading or using notes, and I have to watch my grammar, and I can’t start sentences with and (or but or so), and I need to avoid filler words (um, uh, you know), and I have to use whatever the word of the day will be, and blah blah blah.
I was going to post a video of me practicing my speech, over on my new site, for people to watch and provide feedback. Except for there are no people. I have no people. There are literally zero visitors there. Sigh.
how did I do it? All those years ago? How did I get people to find and read loafe? And on a regular basis?
I guess it was because I was young and very stupid and talked about sex all the time and sucking dick, which I guess is (slightly) more interesting than the whirlwind life of a reclusive middle-aged suburban mom who likes to crochet.
I STILL LIKE TO SUCK DICK!
mostly crochet tho.