Did I already write a book?!
I started a new book the other day. Is it possible that I took ambien one night and wrote it and shopped it around and found a publisher and they published it and then I went to bed and woke up and forgot about it entirely and now I’m reading it and it’s my book? I feel like this is exactly what has happened.
For example. Here are the last two lines I just read:
“When men stop wanting to fuck you: poof! You disappear.
I took three Xanaxes and watched bob’s burgers on my laptop till I passed out on the couch.”
See what I mean? those are quotes from the book, not from loafe. I swear!
But, alas, the book is not mine. Because I would not have pluralized Xanax. it sounds weird with an es. It’s just Xanax, no matter how many you take.
I feel a little inspired though, knowing that perhaps one day I too can publish my shitty self-involved writing in book form.
But first, another episode of bob’s burgers.