I know how people love to post about the books they are currently reading. And I’d like to be able to say that right now I’m reading all these super smart, political, cultural, historical, literary works, but the reality is that I’m reading a Patricia Cornwell book. Her last name is appropriate, because man alive is she corny. But I love reading her books. Cheeseball heaven, and I eat it up.
mmmm yummy cheeseballs.
oh my god I suck so bad. I wrote out my whole little entry and then like a moron I closed the window without saving it. damn it.
anyway, what I was saying was that I need to make a clarification or two about my recent entry regarding boys. I was using the term “boy” not in a man vs boy sense but in a more general, generic sense, like girl vs boy. To distinguish male from female. I definitely understand the difference between a man and a boy, but I wasn’t meaning it in that way. I just like to say boy.
The other clarification I wanted to make was that when I said I was liking a particular boy (George, George Glass) I wasn’t meaning one specific actual boy. I was talking about an idea of one, the dreamy notion that somewhere out there the perfect boy exists for me. A fantasy in other words, a George Glass. Someone I wish were real. But there is no boy. Just George. (If you haven’t seen the Brady Bunch episode with George Glass then I feel sorry for you. Just find someone cool and smart to explain it to you.)
Now who wants to give me free Mac software?
So on Friday night I got to see okkervil river for only $5. That’s right, five little teeny dollars. I’m such a crappy fan I didn’t even know they were here in Tucson until my friend Michelle called me up and said “hey, guess who’s at Plush? Okkervil River!” and the baby had just gone to bed and I had nothing to do, so off I went. Man, did I have a great time. The band was just so good live, let me tell you. Most of my friends are musicians themselves and they agreed. I am very glad they are my new favorite band. Plus it was great to be out with Michelle. I haven’t gone out solo with Michelle in about five years. We used to hang out all the time but not lately, so that was nice. No Gordon, no baby, just Christa, out with her friend having a good time.
I had a dream about Zach Braff last night, a happy dream that left me with a warm buzzing feeling when I woke up. I won’t go into great detail, but in the dream he wasn’t a celebrity, just a regular guy, one of my friends. And he was over at my house and we were watching TV and Gordon left to go run errands and I was glad he was gone and Zach and I were sitting close together on the couch and I was getting giddy from just sitting next to him and our legs touching and I believe there was a kiss involved, but I can’t remember. He was wearing jeans. He was very cute. I was sad to wake up and realize it was a dream. Then I fell back asleep and had another dream about another celebrity, but I can’t remember who or what. I read once somewhere about what it means when you dream about celebrities. Don’t ask me what it was though. I can’t remember.
I am going to DC in a few weeks to visit my sister. I need a break from Gordon and from Tucson and from my family here. I need to think and examine and analyze and relax and have fun with Debbie. A lot of stress right now and my mind is so jumbled and I don’t know what to do or what I want. I know what everyone else thinks and what everyone else wants, but I need to figure out what I want. Plus, I just really need to get away from Gordon. He is making me crazy.
I hate looking for a job. I wish the universe would give me money just to exist. I really think it should. Stupid universe.
85F (29C). The expected Tucson temp for tomorrow. For Boston, I see snow and rain and high temperatures of 32F. Ha. The desert can be pretty nice sometimes.
Screw you east coast!