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it’s that time of year folks, when white people eat mexican food, drink margaritas, give happy wishes to their mexican janitors, cleaning women, gardeners/landscapers and various hired help, and in general just feel very festive and cultured.

That’s right. Cinco de Mayo!

Let all Americans celebrate the Mexican victory over those fruity freaking French at Puebla. Have a tortilla. Eat some salsa. Drink a Corona with a lime in it! For one day, don’t snarl obscenities at their inability to speak English.

All kidding aside, I love Cinco de Mayo.

What makes me laugh is watching these morning programs and these rich, unbelievably WHITE anchors (even the non-whites on those shows are white) feature Mexican food and music. Any other day of the year and Mexicans are a source of great ire. But not today, because today is fun! It’s happy! It’s easy and exciting to say! cinco de mayo! A holiday we can all use as an excuse to get drunk and fat. It’s hilarious, it really is.

Let’s close with the immortal words of Liz Phair: “Cinco de mayo, burn-out Ohio. It wasn’t me this time letting you go.”

I’ve decided to start collecting robots. particularly tin robots and wind-up robots.

There are two that I am very desperate for and I can’t find them and it’s driving me CRAZY. I am sure someone somewhere in this world has these robots and wants to sell them to me. Stupid internet, what good are you if you can’t give me what I need?

I originally saw them in the Baby Einstein DVD Baby Galileo. I must have them or else my life is worthless.

Wind-up Robots (Round head) by Club Earth

Wind-up Robots (Square head) by Club Earth

are they not the cutest best robots to walk the whole wide earth?

god I love robots.

So I saw the movie. the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. And it was very funny and entertaining. I was quite pleased. And one of the guys from the office and love actually was in it and so was sam rockwell and umm, hello very cute! actually, there were a few actors from love actually. anyway, it was a swell movie and quite a relief. I am so glad they didn’t try to make it american. that would have really annoyed me.

hitchhiker is a funny word, no?

To recap, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy gets the loafe approval. go, see, enjoy.

Here is what does not get the loafe approval: ants.

oh hey, I get to celebrate mother’s day properly this year. I gotta say, all those commercials on TV and all those ads in magazines and newspapers are pretty obnoxious. To me, they say “the only possible way you can show your mother/grandmother/sister/daughter/best friend, etc that you love her is to buy her this stuff. anything less will be pathetic and will only prove that you love Satan more than her.”