me + walt whitman + internet = loafe!

By christa 25 October, 2005 best of loafe, vol 1, random

I was thinking about my loafe family tree idea and I wasn’t sure about the roots. Who would everyone in the tree stem off from? And I decided it should be me, walt whitman and the internet. this trinity makes up the whole, the loafe we know today.

so it’s true that I’m feeling a bit more prolific these days. At the very least I am feeling the need to write, regardless of my follow through. It’s good, I suppose, since I like writing and all. But I know me and I know my habits and tendencies, and when the urge to write is this steady and strong it’s because I’m feeling pretty low. There are all sorts of very valid but very temporary reasons why I might be feeling crappy, reasons outside my normal cynicism. Because I’m not talking about my everyday life-sucks-I-hate-George-Bush-the-weather-is-lousy-I-need-more-candy crappy. And it’s not just a matter of being patient while my life settles into place here. No, this is the kind of crappy I’m not so good with, the kind of crappy that I have no room, energy or time to deal with anymore.

Now, I’m not talking CRAZY CHRISTA from a long time ago. We’re light years away from her, thankfully. But I feel itchy, you know? A chilly, tingly hum in my bones.

It’s all these little things knocking me off balance, things like not being able to sleep so well, finding myself distracted, staring off into space too much during the day, losing interest in the things that normally make me happy (like TV!), getting too easily frustrated with Ryland. My dreams lately, while not bad, are filled with too many old things, faces and places shaking off the dust, stretching their limbs, poking around where they don’t belong. It’s too much.

This is me. wandering eyes, wandering mind, wandering heart.

Maybe I just have too much time on my hands right now. I need a job. I need school to start. I need it to stop fucking raining already.

all this water lately, water water water. what is she trying to tell me? water.

water.

educational pricing and other randoms

By christa 24 October, 2005 random

I like companies that offer discounts on their products for education customers. When I bought my mac, I used an education discount, which saved me some money. And I just realized a few minutes ago that I can buy Adobe CS2 for my mac for about 1/4 of the “retail” cost. Of course, I can’t do it until I’m officially re-enrolled at Emerson, which won’t be till January, because stupid Adobe requires all sorts of verification, but I’m still excited.

I gotta tell you though, it really irritates me to see these new iMacs out right now that are leaps and bounds better than mine, and way way cheaper. and I only got it in Feb! It’s still just a little baby, barely 8 months old, and I hate it already. Okay, I don’t hate it I love it very much, but I want a new one, a fresh shiny pretty new one. And a video ipod. I don’t really see the need for a video ipod and my current ipod isn’t seeing much action lately, but I still want it, because I’m a sucker for apple promotion and consumerism.

a few other things chapping my hide: philosophy discontinuing my favorite body wash (message in a bottle); smart water changing their flavored water, so now it has CALORIES and is just way too sweet, whereas before it was perfect, with just this barely there, very subtle natural flavor; my favorite sweatshirt falling apart; my stupid feet, which are bigger now (cause of the baby); my lost notebook with all sorts of useful information I need; my inability to attend a friend’s wedding in AZ; my complete lack of creativity; every inch of my body; and people who buy $750 strollers.

anyway.

so you know, I have my tivo and it’s great and all, but maybe it’s too great. you say “how could tivo be TOO great?” Well, I’ll tell you. I am running out of room because of all the things I’ve recorded and am too lazy to watch. How sad is that? I mean really, how could I get lazier? I didn’t think it was possible. How can it be possible? To be too lazy to even watch TV? my eyes and my brain and my body say “it’s too much christa. it’s just too much for us to sit here motionless and do nothing. it’s taking too much of my focus and energy. please do less. please.”

okay okay I might be joking a little bit. It’s true that I recorded many TV things and the hard drive is very full and tivo is yelling at me but it’s very difficult to find free time to watch those TV things when you have a very active 1-year-old. He takes up A LOT of my time and my energy, what with his always wanting to play or eat or read books or nurse or have his diaper changed or have a bath or chat about his day or sing songs or chase the animals or make huge messes everywhere constantly with every single step and breath he takes.

now, that being said I will comment on the cuteness factor of three gentlemen on TV these days.

First of all, the guy in that show Prison Break, not the old one, but the young one? Umm, wow. Like, way wow. Like, oh my god wow. I am sure he’s been in other things and has been cute in them, but with that shaved head and those eyes, it’s just too much… Plus, he’s a graduate of Princeton with a degree in English literature. sexy sexy sexy.

Usually, I’m not into those “too good-looking to be real” type guys, but I’m not blind, I’m not made of stone, if you cut me I bleed. Still, I tend to like my men a little rougher, a little less pretty, a little less conventional. Like the next two boys on my list, the new guys on SNL. They both are a little dorky looking, but in this very cute sweet awkward way. I get very uncomfortable watching them, because they’re so goofy cute. Boys who make me uncomfortable because you can tell how silly they are make me very happy.

oh boy it’s late I gotta get to bed. jeez loafe, what are you trying to do to me? I need my sleep!

seriously?

By christa 19 October, 2005 random

So, I’m on the phone right now and absentmindedly browsing the web (and typing this post I guess) and I clicked on a link to a story from yahoo about a hormone that might affect people’s behavior. And I’m reading and come across this: “Recent research has linked oxytocin — no relation to the painkiller OxyContin — to the ability of people to trust others.” Now, maybe I’m being overly generous when I assume that anyone reading this article isn’t confusing the HORMONE oxytocin with the DRUG oxycontin, just because of few similiar letters. Are we really that lame now? Or is the reporter writing the article just an ass?

And isn’t the real problem here with “journalists” dumbing down a story unnecessarily? Can’t we just PRETEND that people aren’t that effing stupid? Even if we are? Let’s not play into it. It’s okay to not be stupid. I know it doesn’t seem like it in this crazy world we live in, but I am here to tell you that it is OKAY to not be stupid.