me + walt whitman + internet = loafe!
I was thinking about my loafe family tree idea and I wasn’t sure about the roots. Who would everyone in the tree stem off from? And I decided it should be me, walt whitman and the internet. this trinity makes up the whole, the loafe we know today.
so it’s true that I’m feeling a bit more prolific these days. At the very least I am feeling the need to write, regardless of my follow through. It’s good, I suppose, since I like writing and all. But I know me and I know my habits and tendencies, and when the urge to write is this steady and strong it’s because I’m feeling pretty low. There are all sorts of very valid but very temporary reasons why I might be feeling crappy, reasons outside my normal cynicism. Because I’m not talking about my everyday life-sucks-I-hate-George-Bush-the-weather-is-lousy-I-need-more-candy crappy. And it’s not just a matter of being patient while my life settles into place here. No, this is the kind of crappy I’m not so good with, the kind of crappy that I have no room, energy or time to deal with anymore.
Now, I’m not talking CRAZY CHRISTA from a long time ago. We’re light years away from her, thankfully. But I feel itchy, you know? A chilly, tingly hum in my bones.
It’s all these little things knocking me off balance, things like not being able to sleep so well, finding myself distracted, staring off into space too much during the day, losing interest in the things that normally make me happy (like TV!), getting too easily frustrated with Ryland. My dreams lately, while not bad, are filled with too many old things, faces and places shaking off the dust, stretching their limbs, poking around where they don’t belong. It’s too much.
This is me. wandering eyes, wandering mind, wandering heart.
Maybe I just have too much time on my hands right now. I need a job. I need school to start. I need it to stop fucking raining already.
all this water lately, water water water. what is she trying to tell me? water.
water.
Water ,water everywhere. Isnt that an old witch chant for conjuring up the DEVIL!!
http://www.13thtrack.com
I love love love that you listed Pablo Neruda as one your favorites over there. I love Pablo Neruda. Seriously. I do.
me too! i love him. did you see Il Postino Tiffany? Favorite Poem? Do you like Lorca too? This is my favorite:
Clenched Soul
We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.
I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.
Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.
I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.
Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?
The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.
Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.
Love that movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Favorite poem….
Sonnet XVII
I do not love you as if you were brine-rose, topaz
or barbed carnations thrown off by the fire.
I love you as certain hidden things are loved,
secretly between night and soul.
I love you like the flowerless-plant
carrying inside itself the light of those flowers,
and, graced by your love, a fierce perfume
risen from earth, is alive, concealed in my flesh.
I love you without knwoing how, whence, when.
I love you truly, without doubts, without pride,
I love you so, and know, no other way to love,
none but this mode of neither You nor I,
so close that your hand over my chest is my hand,
so close that they are your eyes I shut when I sleep.
p.s.
I’m not familiar with Lorca, but I’ll definitely do some reading and tell you what I think.
Thanks for the tip!
Doesn’t this make you want to learn how to speak spanish? I bet these poems are even better they way they were originally written.
I know!
I know exactly how you feel…. I am always that way.