Autumn’s fingers burnished
The last good day of the year happened earlier this week. I was recovering to be able to really enjoy it.
https://youtu.be/66W0D7HMD0E?si=2AUJM2jpj3HIo5g5
And now it’s frigging freezing.
I should turn on the heat but you know how it goes. Once you turn it on, then it just never goes off again till like May.
The streak continues though. Of snowing on or right before halloween. Ever since we moved here in 2018. All my winter clothes are boxed up in storage because I live in a tiny dumb apartment with no room to keep winter clothes. Winter clothes includes it all: jackets, boots, hats, scarves, gloves, mittens, etc.
I need all new fall clothes and I need fall shoes. I got a lot of cute summer clothes but now I need cute fall clothes. Just because I can’t have sex doesn’t mean I don’t want to attract sexual energy. And I need cute clothes! Shopping sucks.
Also because I’m still recovering and I can’t do a lot of things. I purged a lot of old or gross or ill-fitting clothes from my closet this past week or two. The best part was collecting all my gross period panties. The underwear I keep but wear only when menstruating. I can throw them all away now. I shall never need them again.
Even though I literally just stopped bleeding like 12-13 days ago, my app is telling me to get ready to start bleeding any time now. This is a delightful feeling, that I will not have to deal with this hell any longer.
I read my doctors notes from the surgery. I don’t understand much or what they say. But they do describe the size and shape of all the organs removed. When it came to describe the shape of my uterus, all she could say for shape was that it was distorted from multiple fibroids (6) at 4.5 cm and larger.
Sounds like she kept both ovaries in, although there had been a good chance she was gonna take the right one. The right one likes to make dermoid cysts. The kind I’ve had before, where shit like hair and nails and even eyeballs can grow in them. God I wish I could see one.
So far the healing seems to be going along nicely. I am following her orders and sticking to the restrictions but I am going a little stir crazy. No gym. No routine. No release. Just me in my dumb apartment all the time. Small dumb crowded apartment.
I need sleep.
What you think of my pumpkin decorating
