Does he like me, does he like me not
In one week, I will be free from the chains that have held me down all these years. my internal lady bits will finally be gone. And of course, for my last period ever, it’s been miserable. it’s like my uterus knows it is about to be evicted, so it’s going out with a bang. Stripping down and taking everything. Even the copper wiring.
The doc today reviewed the restrictions during recovery. No cooking, cleaning or dishes for two weeks. Yay! No gym for six weeks. Boo! No sex for eight weeks. Super boo!
I am going to try to enjoy the down time, because it’s a rare opportunity. I don’t have to run around and do everything, I need to let my body heal. Instead of being anxious and restless and horny and freaking out constantly, I will be calm and quiet and relaxed and maybe I won’t even want sex!
But how am I gonna explain this to my stable of men. I’m afraid to mention this surgery (given the reaction from erik), but I need to say something. So I’m just gonna tell the truth. If it makes him look at me differently or not want to be with me anymore, well then he isn’t deserving of my affection and attention.
We went to Mars Volta at red rocks on Monday. I had heard of them, but I wasn’t familiar with their music. And their music is weird as fuck. Plus they are one of those bands where a single song goes on for like 20 damn mins. Which is not my thing.
But I had so much fun! I haven’t been to red rocks for a concert since before the pandemic, so I forgot how amazing it is. That venue makes anything better.
Mostly though, it was him. I like being around him. He’s so cute. I’m very attracted to him. I love how he touches me and how he looks at me and how he makes me feel.
You know what else? It’s not some kind of game with him. I don’t go home after our dates, wondering god does he even like me? I don’t need to wonder because he tells me how he feels. Even better, he shows me. He doesn’t keep it a secret. I have never once questioned his intentions towards me.
It is refreshing being with someone who actually likes me and isn’t afraid to admit it.
Meanwhile; in torture christa relentlessly land, erik told me that his friends think I’m cute, they like me for him, that I’m good for him, that he should date me. Which he said he’s “taking under advisement.” Wtf with this guy. He loves toying with me. Why would he tell me all this. Why do I let him spin me up. Why can’t I just walk away from him. He likes me, he doesn’t like me, he wants me, he doesn’t want me. He’s making me crazy. I don’t want to like him, but the heart wants what it wants.