Friendship *barf*
That’s where we are. That’s what we’re trying to do. Be friends.
Sigh
I’m gonna do it, because I am weak and pathetic and sad. Because I’d rather this than nothing.
I got Xanax today. Because I’m useless right now and I just want to be numb and not care about anything for the next couple of weeks. so I can “be friends.” So I can stop feeling like garbage. so I can stop obsessing. So I can do something else besides criticize myself and what I did wrong and why no one will ever love me. So I can just forget.
So far I’ve only sent two late-night, emotionally humiliating texts, which he thankfully ignored.
In happier news, my leg is doing so much better! I am healing at a phenomenal rate. Impressing so many people and doctors. They might throw me a parade. And give me a medal.
I’m doing gym stuff again, but making sure I take it easy and don’t push it too far. I can walk almost normal now! And the bruising is gorgeous, so nasty looking and utterly fascinating. I think the icing I’ve been doing, and then wearing this sexy sexy compression sock at night as I sit here watching TV, has really helped.
I don’t think I’ll need to wait six weeks before I’m back at it.
Should I still go to London for ocean at the end of the lane? We were going to go together. I’ll be sad the whole time. Maybe I’ll be over him by then. Maybe I’ll never be over him. Maybe the wrath of god will wipe all the evil treacherous traitorous souls from the earth by then. Cause see, Roger, man of god, told me all about it in the infrared sauna at my gym the other day. He prayed for me. I’ll be one of the saved ones. My body won’t be floating in the Potomac. Also trump is gonna be reinstated as president soon. This is all gonna happen in the next month. So maybe think about getting your affairs in order, people.