yard of blonde girls
jeff buckley’s version of this song is sublime. and so very sexy. okay okay.
Seriously, it’s just exhilarating, and on such a deep level. I forgot all about this song until about 20 mins ago, when I was lying in bed listening to my ipod and it suddenly came on. What a refreshing jolt. It made me get up and write. and that takes a lot. To get me out of bed. Really.
Another refreshing jolt: I’m happy. I keep looking around for things to make me feel miserable (and of course there’s no shortage of that), but when I get down to it, when it’s just me and my brain talking things out, I realize it: I’m happy.
Now, before we all get carried away here with rainbows and lollipops and sunshine, let’s just be clear. My version of happiness and the happiness other people claim or aspire to are not quite the same. I’m no less cynical, annoyed and disgusted by much of what I see and deal with on a daily basis, but I’m not depressed. I’m not hunkered down in a state of despair, waiting for death, crying sorry pathetic tears on my sorry pathetic pillow, whispering “oh mortal coil, let me off..” I’m still tortured, longing, unsatisfied christa, but I’m good. I’m good.
Glad to hear it – it sucks to be depressed all the time. Hey, that reminds me of a song – have you ever heard a song called Your Little Hoodrat Friend, by The Hold Steady? The opening verse goes:
Your little hoodrat friend makes me sick
But after I get sick I just get sad
Because it burns being broke and it hurts to be heartbroken
But always being both must be a drag
And in googling around for the lyrics, I found out that you can download a copy of it here, which I totally encourage you to do, cause it’s pretty catchy.