Won’t stop til it’s over
We haven’t had sex in over two weeks and I’m going crazy. He doesn’t want me anymore. He doesn’t find me attractive. He hates me and think I’m too old and too fat and too squishy. He deserves better than this grossness that is my body.
But we’re still texting at least. He’s still charming and sweet and funny and even says romantic things. but without the sex what does it even mean? Nothing! It means nothing!
Ugh. I’m so sick of finding my value and self-worth in a man and his opinion of me, his attraction to me. But mostly? I am sick of myself. How do I get away from my own brain, my own gaze, my own emotions. I need a break from me.
But regardless of my insecurities, no matter what is going on with him, I’m mot going anywhere. I won’t stop till it’s over. Till he says he’s done with me. Till he ends it.
While I fret and freak, let’s watch this video of the trees in WI. I love this.