The Tinder guide
My friend and I have come up with a translation guide for tinder.
“No drama” = you better not have any needs, I will not be meeting any of them
“Ask me anything” = you will be expected to hold up the entire conversation, which will be all about me
“Everyone on here is fake prove me wrong” = I am both unpopular and rude (and probly ugly)
“Prefer someone who is active” = no fat girls
“Love to travel” and listing all the places = I want you to think I’m wealthy
“Looking for a partner in crime” = I’m both boring and stupid without an original thought in my head
“Dark sense of humor” = I can say awful shit to you and it’s okay.
“Why so serious?” = you should smile more
“2A” = you will never be safe with me.
Beware when all of their interests are some form of exercise ( “gym, working out, hiking, running, cycling”). they are insufferable and dull as fuck.
And when they start a chat with “so how was your day”? Just. shoot. me.
“Great weather we’re having!” shoot me again. I’m not going to talk to you about the god damn weather.
I do like tinder though. I mean, I fucking hate it but also I have a binder full of men and I love it.
In related news, I am totally gonna have a date with this guy. I’ve been really wanting someone to teach me all about finance and, more importantly, bitcoin.
