Regrets
-I woke up from a sexy dream in the middle of the night last night. Thought about masturbating. Did not. I regret this.
-I never got a book deal from Twitter, because I was never very good at Twitter. I regret this.
-I didn’t fix my broken car window and now I’m out of extra money. I regret this.
-I am out of extra money. I regret this.
-I never ended up going to London and Ireland this year. I regret this.
-I did not drink enough water yesterday or the day before or the day before that. I regret this.
-I bought a bunch of shit from QVC. I regret this. Well I kind of regret this. I regret some of it. Okay never mind I don’t regret any of it.
-I told someone once how I felt about them. I regret this.
-I bought some winter boots that were too small and I procrastinated too long and now I can’t return them anymore. I regret this.
-I waited too long to do car registration renewal and the late fee was more than the registration fee. I regret this.
-I had a tumor removed from my liver and now I feel all alone in this cold empty world. I didn’t know it then, but that tumor was my friend. My liver is sad. I regret this.
-You were mean to me. I regret this.