go away, let me rest.

I am not sure what the universe is up to, but she’s trying very hard to remind me of the past and I don’t know why. Little things keep happening to say “hey remember this? what about this? look over there, I bet you forgot all about that, but I didn’t! See?” I am not actively seeking this out, believe me.

For example, I recently started working at my old job again, right? After I left in 2004, they naturally shut down my email address. Once I came back, they gave me my old email alias back, and it’s like I was never gone, only on pause. I am getting tons of junk mail, but I’m also still on lots of mailing lists I had joined back then. Companies I did business with are sending me updates and info and reminders. And one of those reminders was from FTD, the flower company, letting me know that it’s someone’s birthday on March 2nd, someone I had sent flowers to AGES ago, someone I was just fine not thinking about, someone who doesn’t need to be infiltrating my thoughts right now.

But this isn’t the only instance. Other things keep coming up, little things that on their own wouldn’t be a big deal, but when you put them all together, there is definitely something going on. I should listen to what she’s saying, listen deep as Marianne might say. Maybe I need some help with that though. I’ve got a lot of cotton in my ears.

It’s strange that life can do that to you, can remind you of your old self, surprise you with it while you’re off looking at other things, and there’s not much you can do to prepare for it. It’s good for keeping you on your toes, that much is true.

I am different now, even from just a year or two ago, but here I am, back in the same city, at the same job, looking at much the same things as I did before. The more things change the more they stay the same?

Maybe I am not as changed as I thought.

• ← maybe it’s me?
• bye bye birdies →