Why are you even here

I think that it’s okay to check up on people you once had friendships and relationships with, even if you are no longer talking with these people. It isn’t stalking or being a creep. Why should it be shameful? You cared about them (maybe you still care about them) and you want to make sure they are still alive, still healthy. Over two years of this miserable pandemic now, so it feels natural to be concerned about friends and family and lovers. And especially about FORMER friends and family and lovers. Not creepy. Natural.

Okay so maybe sometimes I walk a fine line and maybe sometimes I might cross that line but it’s only out of love, and because of my generous spirit. So I’m sorry I was inside your bedroom, but it’s fine. It’s fine. I was quiet and I didn’t take anything (except for a few pictures) and you didn’t even know I was there. It’s only because I had to make sure you were okay. And you were! I could tell you were by the easy way you were breathing, untroubled and steady, and the matching rhythm of your wife’s sleeping breath. Aren’t you two so sweet. What a relief. My relief is immense.

So it’s fine. It’s all fine. No worries here, it’s just me, sweet old Christa, being my kind loving self.

Just because we don’t talk anymore doesn’t mean I stopped caring. You may be out of my life, but I will never be out of yours. Never. Ever. Ever. And you can’t stop me. From caring. About you.

Interested in reading more about how I feel towards you (and your wife)? Be sure to check out my new site! (Link in bio)