We can’t all be perfect
Okay so maybe I’m not “attractive” and sure, I don’t “dress appropriately.” I am not “sexually viable.” I lack good “parenting skills.” I’m not a “good mom.” I don’t own any “property” or have “good credit.” I don’t have “nice skin” or “good cheekbones.” I’m not “intelligent.” I am not a “good friend” to others. I don’t have any “talent” or a “profitable skill set.” I don’t follow a “healthy diet.”
The list goes on. Basically, I’m not a “good catch.”
Except for two things. I have two things going for me, two unassailable and sublime things that belong to me and no one else. You’ll go through life and meet special people the world over, people who have all of the things above, and more! things I don’t even know how to spell probably.
But they won’t have what I have, not like I do: my taste in music and my sense of humor. I am unmatched. I have no confidence in anything, except this.
I didn’t get here alone, of course. Many years, many people, many situations, all working together in strange ways, shaping and influencing me. They are the most crucial aspects of my entire existence, my humor and my music, and what I like most about myself.
So if I were a person who was or had any of those things I listed earlier… well, maybe more people would like me and want me, maybe I’d be happier. We’d have better lives, I guess. but jeez, I don’t think I’d like it. I wouldn’t have this little peculiar blend of magic in me, and it’s just so electric. Without it, I’d be so boring, so oblivious and dull.
I’d rather be this way, be this particular christa, because happiness isn’t what makes me happy. Music and laughter, and the stories in them, that’s where I belong.
(In other words…I looked at my Spotify 2021 Wrapped. It’s ~chef’s kiss~. again. What can I say)