It only feels worse when I stay in one place
There’s so much I want to say to you but I have no words.
Actually that is not true. I have all the words. But I just don’t have all that much to say. The silence and the darkness, they speak for me.
There is this quote from Edna St Vincent Millay though:
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
Sometimes I go looking. I find little pieces of you, here and there. I gather them in, hold them close. I want them to saturate my skin but it’s harder now. There just isn’t enough. It’s been too long. I still look though. I can’t help it.
I remember to forget and I forget so I can remember.