Morning Shoppers.
Right before work, I stopped at the grocery store to get a muffin and a juice and there were all these little old people doing their shopping. It was vCute. They all came together on a yellow school bus and they had their hats and their coats and I thought that maybe getting old won’t be so bad, if I get to go to the grocery store on a yellow school bus with a bunch of friends. I don’t know, maybe all those people weren’t friends, but it sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
Maybe it’s just me.
Two of my best friends are about to turn 30 in February. I am pretty freaked out for them. I wish we could all be together and celebrate/mourn as a group, but they live in Arizona and I live here and there’s work and school and kids and all sorts of stuff in the way. But I really need to do something special for them. Anyone have any good ideas? What would someone facing down the evilness that is TURNING 30 (please say in a deep, booming, dooming voice) want? I myself wouldn’t know since I am not anywhere NEAR turning 30.
Sad but true: I still have winter solstice gifts for my friends that I have not sent. But I will! I promise!
Alright. It’s true. I am thinking of holding some sort of loafe contest and whoever wins will receive a loafe prize package, which will include a book, a CD, some hand-crafted items, artwork, a beverage perhaps, and maybe a tasty snack. But what sort of contest could I hold? I do not even know.
Wait! I know! I could have a contest for The Best Contest Idea. The winner: the person who comes up with the most appealing contest idea. A contest about a contest! A meta-contest!
I think that perhaps I should win the prize package, because my meta-contest idea is obviously the best. But the whole reason there IS a prize package is because I have these items that I do not want (for various reasons, but not because any of these items are lame, because they are not lame, they are vCool). So clearly I cannot win my own contest.
I will have to think this through and then get back to you all with details regarding the upcoming loafe contest.
You’re probably not going to believe me, but here goes…
Turning 30 isn’t that bad. Really. Life has gotten better and better the older I get. I turned 30 over 8 years ago and it was one of the best things I ever did! I really enjoy my life and feel like I have at least a slight grip on what’s going on. Not a huge one, but a slight one. And, I’m told, the 40’s are even better!
I know, I know. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I’m even single and I STILL enjoy my life.
I know you youngsters are terrified by the age 30
thing, and that being less than thirty makes you unique and special. Individuals are unique and special, not their age. When I was 29 I went through the same, exact, identical uniqueness and youthful arrogance thing. Then at 45 I finally grew up. (You still got lots of time Christa).
On the weekends I have been helping a 92 year old man learn the internet and use email so that he can manage his investments. He still drives his car, and drives a tractor he uses to manage his orchard and estate (20 acres?). He is still smart as a whip. Its giving me a new perspective on what the definition of what old is.
Contests: See who can give you the most cold hard cash. That would be a good one. Or who can
get you the highest paying job after you graduate. Adios
old people in line in the grocery store suck.
Neely! Old people do not suck. You’re going to be old someday and someone is going to say that YOU suck. And, you’ll think back to the day when you quote on this website that “old people in line at the grocery store suck” and you’ll feel terribly sad that all the little whipper-snappers are saying that YOU suck. And, you’ll scream at them, “Hey, ya little whipper-snappers! I was young, just like you once! And, you’re wrong! I don’t suck! I rock the party that rocks the party!”
Until then, it’s George.
I am old
Have you ever worked in a grocery store? Trust me, they suck.
I have worked in a grocery store. You’re right. Old people in line at the grocery store suck. But, what’s even worse, old people in line at Wal Mart or Target.
THAT SUCKS.
What really sucks is that clock keeps ticking,
ticking…Look at it on your computer when you are working or on the net. It just keeps going forward. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast. Getting
older, youth fading… I want it to stop, but if it does: I am DEAD.
You’re older than you’ve ever been
and now your even older
and now your even older
and now your even older
You’re older than you’ve ever been
and now your even older
and now you’re older still
Time is marching on…
and time is still marching on
This day will soon be at an end
and now it’s even sooner
and now it’s even sooner
and now it’s even sooner
This day will soon be at an end
and now it’s even sooner
and now it’s sooner still
-TMBG
I hope I die before I get Old. MMMMAgic Bus!!!
Sick, just sick. This is no laughing matter, people. We’re all getting older, and all you can do is laugh about it! How many of you got in the car this week and asked yourselves, “Did I brush my teeth this morning?” Maybe you had the thought, but just don’t remember it! FUCK! Fuck? Fuck fuck fuck. I keep saying that word, hoping I’ll somehow be younger and cooler and hipper and more attractive to women (and boys — let’s face it, I don’t want gay guys to not even WONDER if I’m date-worthy). Fuck. It’s not working! Father time, what the fuck?? Einstein says that every particle in my body is moving at the speed of light, but only through the dimension of time. I didn’t believe it until a car playing Dokken passed me on the interstate. I used to be the guy playing uncool music at utterly cool volumes passing old guys in my shitty car! Fuckers! Now my atoms are aging FASTER the slower I move. How fair is that? Not very! Magic bus. More like magic pustule on my ass. Where the heck did that come from?
Wow. Bitter, party of one, your table is now available.
I laughed and laughed and laughed at what Schmatrick said. Especially the part about Dokken. Because, automatically, I see the word Dokken and my brain thinks: “Rockin’ like Dokken.” And, that’s when goofy Beavis and Butthead laughter fills my head. It’s almost like a symphony.
It’s all good, yo.