Dogs and Christmas go hand in hand, according to lame holiday moviemakers.
If I died between now and Monday, I wouldn’t have to go back to work. hmmm.
I don’t want to die though.
If I made it LOOK like I died between now and Monday, I wouldn’t have to go back to work. hmmm.
Lately I’ve been wondering what the police and CSI folks would say about me if I fell victim to a serial killer. What would the doctor say about me in the autopsy? what sort of conclusions would they make about my personality based on the contents of my stomach and my handbag? Would they look at my DVR list and the music on my computer and the books on my shelves and my netflix queue and my magazine subscriptions and deduce that I’m really very awesome? I think if you’re going to die in some horrible way, a serial killer would be the way to go. At least then you’d be a part of something bigger. A random murder? An accidental murder? an act of passion? LAME. I want intrigue, mystery, excitement, craziness.
I wonder what souvenir the serial killer would take from my murder scene. If it happened at home, I’ve got a lot of cool things he could take. I’m not being sexist. ladies very rarely are serial killers. He could take a million different things. I just wonder so much what it would be.
Maybe I’ve been watching too much CSI lately. It’s our thing, G and I. It makes us feel good. and since we’re both home together right now, due to the economy and my maternity leave, that’s what we’ve been doing–watching lots of CSI. instead of you know connecting or making love or something along those dull lines.
You know who I hate? people who hate TV. I just hate those people. or even worse, people who say “Oh I don’t own a television” or “I don’t really watch much television” or “my family didn’t have a television when I was growing up; I am so glad we didn’t cause look how smart and fruity I am now.” And these horrible awful people who I hate, they never say TV. no they always say the entire word, television, like it means something.
instead of going to bed, I stayed up to get some work done and now that it’s 2:30am and I’m really tired and ready to sleep, the rotten baby has decided to wake up.
and this puts an end to another scintillating loafe.
- A Dog Named Christmas
- 12 Men of Christmas