A book! My first book!
I didn’t write it. but I did design it. It was just a small project for a Tucson local, but it was fun and I enjoyed it a lot. I want to do more! Maybe even my own book one day. maybe. One day. It could happen, you don’t know.
I’ve already received a request to do another book, this time just the cover, but it’s still v. exciting. Adding book design to my portfolio has always been a dream.
Just as I’m getting ready to take a shower and go to bed, Nick wakes up, feeling sick. He goes into the bathroom. Decides he needs to throw up.
So what does he do? He stands at nearly full height, over the toilet, and just starts puking. He doesn’t lift the seat. He doesn’t put his head in the toilet. He doesn’t even bend over. He just stands there above the toilet and lets it fly. So of course IT GOES EVERYWHERE, vomit splashing on everything, making a giant frigging mess.
The dog is extremely interested in what’s happening, I’m standing there watching, totally grossed out and wishing for an earth-ending asteroid, but still trying to keep the dog away, and he just keeps on puking.
Then, after he’s covered everything with copious amounts of vomit, he tells me he has to shit now, too. But there’s vomit all over the toilet and floor and tub and shower curtain. So he runs off to use the other bathroom, and I’m left to clean up the mess.
I know throwing up is no fun. And when you don’t feel well, you maybe aren’t in the best frame of mind or worried about messes. but still, even so, who doesn’t at least bend over a little bit, put their head closer to the toilet? Lift the seat maybe? And at least TRY to get the vomit into the bowl? Who just stands upright like that, puking?
Okay sure, when the boys were little, they’d just start throwing up wherever they were, with no regard for anything. Because they didn’t know any better.
But he’s 12! He knows how to puke!
I couldn’t really get mad or yell at him or make him clean it up (even though I wanted to). He did try to wipe up some of the vomit though, a little bit. He did a piss poor job of it, but I appreciated the gesture. Poor thing.
He is okay. finally asleep.
all I wanted to do was take my shower and play my wordle and go to sleep. and instead I’m cleaning up vomit and gagging all over and trying not to throw up myself and taking down the shower curtain and gathering up all the mats and towels and running a load of laundry and spraying sanitizer everywhere and now it’s 3am and I’m finally going to bed and tomorrow will be fun and I have a headache and I cut my hair too short and I need to win the lottery and what if I got Botox?
I don’t listen to podcasts. Kindly take your podcast recommendations and put them in your butt.
I don’t watch succession or euphoria or Yellowstone or squid game or ozark. Take your little asides and jokes and chatter and kindly put them in your butt. And I’m especially not going to watch pam and tommy, so don’t even. Don’t even.
Here is what I do watch: endless repeats of Bob’s burgers (current favorite joke “oh we don’t print our pictures. They live in the camera”); bruins hockey; CSI reruns; star treks; lotta commercials.
And for some reason I am obsessed with this song:
Should I be embarrassed? I don’t know anymore. These people are like 4 years old what they could possibly know about life. BUT I LIKE IT OKAY.
And I guess I have to get rid of Spotify now? Ugh. I have all my playlists set up just how I like them and Apple Music annoys me. Ugh.
Time to start actually buying music again? Ugh. UGH.
Fine. I’ll do it. Okay? I SAID I’LL DO IT.
I got into bed at midnight and now it’s after 2am. ugh.
And look. My bergeron sticker. It looks how I feel. And I can’t find a new one to replace it either. ugh.
I guess I’ll try to sleep now. All that stuff we talked about earlier? Just go ahead and keep it in your butt. I don’t wanna hear about it.
Ohh, idea! Maybe I should get a tattoo that just says “ugh”, as it is my life’s motto. You know, it’s not even my motto. It’s just my life. Ugh. I don’t need a tattoo to tell me that now, do I.
Well I googled it. Ocean at the end of the lane. It will close before I’m in London. Because of course it will. Of course.
DeepSigh.gif.
Perhaps the boyfriend I’m growing will ease my sorrowful heart.
