When I woke up this morning, I had this very warm, contented feeling, and I knew it was from the dream I was just having. It was quite strong, this sense of happiness and excitement. But I can’t remember anything about the dream at all, nothing. Just the feeling of it when I woke up. I tried to get back into it, glean some sort of lasting image to take with me, but to no avail.
What disturbs me about all of this, waking up as I did, I know what happiness feels like now. And I’m far from that. So very far. That feeling I had this morning? It was strange and interesting and just plain good. I don’t know that I’ve experienced that before; if I have, it was long ago.
So, what do I do now? I thought I was fine, I thought I felt okay about everything, that life was alright, not great, but alright enough to get by, and now I know it isn’t.
Even worse, my memory of this morning is already fading. I’m forgetting that happiness I felt, even for those few seconds. How can a person forget happy?
At the very least though, I’ve reminded myself that being happy doesn’t just mean not being unhappy. So maybe I can do something about it after all. The pursuit of happiness is the real fun anyway. the journey not the destination. the quest, not the capture. etc, etc.
on an unrelated topic, can someone explain to me how a child who loved mixed veggies (peas and carrots and green beans) barely 2 months ago can suddenly hate it with a passion and refuse to allow even the tiniest smidgen of it past his tight locked little lips?