AP news writers

truth? I miss the days of not needing to think of some clever or pithy title for every lame time I wanted to write something. curse this internet.

and also segues. they are so boorrring.

who writes those lousy AP “news” pieces? the ones that show up on all the “news” receptacles? they honestly seem so earnest writing about the silliest shit, all the time. you are a douchebag, AP. I wished I were reading this on the onion. It occurred to me that really, domain names aside, yahoo is in fact the onion. (note to actual AP writers, who read loafe religiously looking for guidance: I don’t fault the writer, not one bit, I fault the Rocks That Think, who control every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.)

but do I do anything constructive and balanced, such as read news from sites providing well-written and articulate information? They are plentiful enough. But I do not, because it’s too many clicks for me to find.

Is this getting old or getting domesticated? Or getting stupid? I need to know. and very very soon.


AH HA!!! I figured it out. eureka and uhh, what not.

okay it just happened.

here is what scared me about wilco letting their music on a commercial. I’m sitting here trying to write something, and Gordon is watching TV, family guy, and I can’t really hear it, just only a little. And a commercial comes on, a damn hair one, hair coloring or hair softening, hair hair hair here’s how to have white fluffy fucking clouds on your head, and the song playing in the background is that goddamned natasha bedingflowingfield song. feel the rain on your face blah blah blah.

I can only assume that it’s possible wilco’s recording contract gives them a greater degree of control over things, such as where commercially their music can appear, since they actually wrote the shit they’re singing.

And we all know a car commercial, specifically a coolhipironicpomo VW ad campaign, is light-years better than flowery pretties like hair. We can all agree on this. It’s cooler and better to be selling cars than hair products. You’ll never hear wilco on a hair commercial, I one hundred percent guarantee you that. The day that happens, you can each one of you fucking murder me with a box of the schmuzzies. The “we’re trying to reach a greater audience” elitist bullshit you’re telling me is fragile at best. wilco and natasha, sharing the same bed. if not the same bed, they’re in the same goddamned hotel room and it’s too much for me. really, I can’t even pretend to feel generous towards her fans. seriously. for real. no “public writing” dramazitation happening here. if you like that song, I want to hurt you with my hatred. I want to take your boyfriend away. wait. don’t cry here you can have a pony, you’re so pretty, I’m sorry.

OH NO! oh no no oh no. This is too sad. in the process of looking up how to actually spell the word “schmuzzies”, I found out that one of the greatest kids show I’ve ever seen is no longer, as “On June 1, 2007, the Umbilical Brothers announced on their web site that Nickelodeon/Noggin USA were not interested in a second season of The Upside Down Show, despite its critical success.” Is that true?

That is disappointment of the utmost variety. it’s the heartbreakingly, crush-destroying, hope-for-kids-entertainment thrown-in-my-face variety. I hope they release it on DVD. Actually, I have all of them on my dvr.

still, I’d like them on dvd.

hmpf. now I’m cranky. TV is a cruel spouse.


funnies back in time

I don’t know what I was doing, but somehow I ended up on an old loafe post that made me laugh, especially the comments. There are actually plenty of old posts in which the comments section was hilarious, but I’m not going to go look for them all.

mostly, I just like when people say I’m funny.