family vacations!

so we’re taking our first official family summer vacation in a little over a week. we’re going to disneyland! it’s very exciting. i am looking forward to the warm california beaches and the warm pacific ocean. the water in the atlantic is always cold. even in the dead of summer, in blazing heat, the water is still freaking cold. and every time I go to the beach here, it always seem to be cloudy. At my house it’s sunny, but once you get the the beach, there is this instant cloud cover. but even with the clouds, it’s still muggy and sticky and everyone is snooty and annoying and the sand isn’t soft and there are like a gazillion craggy rocks everywhere.

anyway, disneyland will be loud and crowded and obnoxious and hot and expensive and I’ll surely hate every minute of it and ryland will be beside himself with excitement and absolutely love it. as it should be it.


me and hockey have broken up.

I’m grieving. It was a tough split. but it had to be done. because some things can’t be forgiven or forgotten. some things are necessary when your heart is torn up, shred to pieces, spit on, kicked into the dust and left to the scavengers.

the only things distracting me from the bruins devastating and soul-crushing loss in the playoffs:
the story of edgar sawtelle
being sick AGAIN for the 390th time this year
gilmore girl reruns

I vow to never speak of the bruins or hockey again.*

*at least until next year anyway. and the goddamned penguins had better goddamned destroy carolina.


today was a lousy shitty day. here’s why.

-I didn’t get the raise I wanted at work. not that I expected to but even when you know you’re not getting it, it’s still disappointing. hope is for chumps, obama.

-ry missed his special school field trip to the aquarium, which he was really looking forward to, because he got pink eye and an ear infection from that same school. not only did his school make him sick, it made him sick just in time to miss the only good part of being at school–field trips to cool places! and you know, it really seems like they should have to tell you when there’s been cases of pink eye going around, so that you can be informed and make decisions about the health of your child. sure maybe the other kids don’t have weakened immune systems and blood disorders and didn’t just spend their winter being sick and getting transfusions but you know what? those kids are lame. I don’t have experience with any other school or day care situation so I don’t know if this is normal or if my kid’s school is particularly unclean. but it’s normal right? kids who spend a lot of time with other kids get sick, because kids are dirty and germy and gross and pick their noses and then eat them. riding the disgusting train with hordes of disgusting people doesn’t help either, I’m sure. public transportation is for chumps, and so is being green. I wish I could drive two giant hummers to work every day, and I’d be in one and then in the other one I’d have nothing but a pea, a small tiny green pea. don’t ask me how the 2nd hummer would drive with nothing but a pea. but if I ever get three wishes from a genie, that is going to be one of them.

-later, when g went to pick up ry’s prescription for his infections, a stupid, old very old lady backed right up into us and smashed the car, and even though it was her fault and she’s way too old to be driving (she was born in 1923 for chrissakes I don’t care what you people say that’s old) we have to pay $500 for it to be fixed. insurance companies suck they really do, and I hate the word “deductible” it haunts me it haunts me and it taunts me and it throws cabbage at me.

that word should be struck from the goddamn english language. from all languages.

-and then we get a freaking parking ticket after work because ry had to pee, and since there is never ever a single goddamned parking space available anywhere in this goddamned stinking city I now have to pay them $55.

-to top it all off, to truly make the day perfect, to end it all on the loveliest of notes, the goddamned bruins have to lose in goddamned overtime to the GODDAMNED HURRICANES, who shouldn’t even be allowed to have a team in the NHL, much less be in the playoffs fucking up our series and our Cup. the hurricanes. please. they have cheerleaders for pete’s sake, not jut stupid “ice girls” that everyone has now days which is dumb enough, because god forbid some facet of this life isn’t filled with half naked girls running around doing nothing but being half naked, I’m talking actual cheerleaders, who do cheers and whatever goddamned stupid shit cheerleaders do.

I wish that I knew better angry words than stupid and goddamned and freaking but I don’t okay I only know those words and I like knowing only those words because those are the only words that convey my anger in a just manner, the only words that accurately describe my complete disdain and lack of patience for this world and my life and every single living breathing person in it.

-and no one listens to me when I say anything.

and one more thing: you think I’m a cold, distant bitch now? you ain’t seen nothing yet. my bitch is an iceberg and we go deep. we’re gonna rip your goddamned boat to shreds and then watch you drown as you cling in vain to the sinking remains.


hockey ry

We took ry to his first hockey skating lesson. it was very cute and a lot of fun and very hilarious. watching little kids skate around and fall on the ice wearing all this ridiculous equipment makes me very happy.

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