how can you mend a broken heart

Last night was by far the most painful night of my life, and that includes being raped, george bush winning two elections, arrested development’s final episode, and when they stopped selling phen-fen.

I will not discuss the events of last ever again, although I am haunted by it and will do whatever necessary to wash away my anguish. and when I say whatever necessary, I mean just that. copious drugs/alcohol, random sexual encounters, disregard for basic hygiene, wanton violence, ingestion of countless cookies…

and when I’m nothing more than an empty shell of a human, standing in the gutters in my fat & ratty clothes, riddled with STDs and drug addictions, I can only say, “this is what you’ve done to me, bruins. I hope you’re happy.”

so uhh, go red sox! and go celtics! suck it everyone and everything else!

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