my blessed thirties

A strange and mysterious thing has occurred. I never thought it would happen, but I’m glad I’m no longer in my twenties. They were a bit of an embarrassment for me, in so many ways, and it’s a relief to be done with them. And so far, the thirties aren’t so bad.

I just wish 31 didn’t sound so old. And now that I’m starting to get comfortable in my 31-year-old shoes, it’s almost time to trade them in for a 32, leaving me with less than three years to graduate, find a city to settle down in, get a great job and have a daughter. I don’t literally mean my shoes are 31 years old though. It’s just a metaphor. My shoes are, like, 6 months old.

But all in all, I feel pretty good these days, about being my age and having my kid and my general lot in life. My outlook is on the upswing. I whine a lot, because it’s my habit, but honestly I just need to get over myself. I am lucky, I know this; I could have it 100 times worse than I do. I need one of those funny animated creatures to sit on my shoulder, appearing when the situation warrants, reminding me of my good fortune, because otherwise I’m too wrapped up in what I don’t have or what I’m not doing, creating misery where it doesn’t need to be.

Our circumstances are just that—circumstances. I have choices and opportunities and intelligence and I’m letting the wrong things get me down and affect my life. Ry needs a better mother than that!

Warm weather is almost upon us and I know things will be better in the spring. Okay, technically it IS spring, but I won’t consider it official until I can pack up my stupid winter coat for the year.

Let’s all be thankful for trader joe’s jasmine green tea, the most delicious beverage in creation. Well, it might not be the most delicious beverage EVER, but it’s certainly one of my favorites and definitely in the top 5 of Most Delicious Beverages Ever. Sitting right next to trader joe’s jasmine green tea on that list is ito en’s jasmine green tea. Now you might say that maybe I just like jasmine green tea in general but you’d be wrong, because I’ve tried other brands of jasmine green tea and none are as good as these two.

All I need now is a broadband internet connection and a pedicure and things will be swell.

57 thoughts on “my blessed thirties

  1. Jonathan

    Are you still letting the reprobate up in your junk? Is he the intended father of this daughter-to-be? If if the biological clock starts ticking too loud and it turns out his boys aren’t smart enough to find the target (if you follow my meaning), you could always go down to the hobo encampment outside of Dorchester with a bottle of Boone’s Farm and some erotic literature & see if that gets the job done. I’m not saying some rail riding tramp will be a better father for the mystery daughter than the reprobate, but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained…

  2. Jonathan

    Hmmm… upon re-reading it looks like I may have actually brought down your first positive blog post in months with some west coast negativity. Ah well, chalk it all up to jealousy…

  3. Morgan

    One highlight of your twenties is that you co-starred in “Pizza Guy Saves The Day” by the legendary film maker Jonathan Ziegler. Weren’t you nominated for a Golden Globe for your performance? Perhaps not.

  4. gina

    You don’t look your age. I’d say you look 25. Did you sell Ryland for a jar of Creme De La Mer?

  5. DG

    Today at Bally’s in Deerfield I was taking a hot whirlpool. When I got in a very old gentleman warned me that it was unusually hot.

    It was , it was probably 105 degrees or so. Well I was in there for about 5-10 minutes and was ready to swim. I was wondering about the old man that greeted me earlier. I asked him he needed help. He said he could do it himself. I watched him squirm and eye the stairs out with some anxiety and again asked if he needed help. He said no. I then thought maybe he was too proud and stubborn. I said to another bather “he’s so stubborn he’ll be soup before he wants to leave”. He laughed.

    So I finally took the initiative and offered my hand and he took it. I could then see he couldn’t get up. I helped him to the stairs where again he started saying he was OK and refused further assistance. So I jumped in the pool, swam a lap or so and looked and still saw him clinging to the stairs.

    I then got out and motioned to a fellow bather to help me, he did and we got him off the stairs where he promptly sunk to the ground.

    I then ordered another bather to get the desk people, they came and asked what they should do I said call 911!!! The paramedics came and took him away. Jeese… I am glad it wasn’t me needing help because I would have died there . Nobody moved a muscle for the old man except for me.

    3-28-2006

  6. gina

    Let’s all be thankful for bran flakes and craisens. Taste great and it’s good for you too! Combined with my new Activa yogurt, things will be movin in no time!!!

    Woohoo!!!

    Man, I’m bored.

  7. Morgan

    I like the new look of loafe. I didn’t think that last one looked that great, but I never said anything because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I know how badly it would have hurt you to have me say something like, “ya know, I don’t think the layout of loafe is very great”. That would have been devastating. Anyway… looks like OSX meets David Lee Roth.

  8. neely

    i like the new loafe dot com too!!

    woo-hoo!!

    christa, where did you disappear to anyway?

    don’t worry girl- i got you covered!!

  9. gina

    Good analogy! But, just so everyone’s on the same sheet of music, I am the Bridget Fonda character and Christa is the Jennifer Jason Leigh character.

  10. Tiffany

    Did you know that that movie was filmed in the same building as my school? Yeah! I’m super famous by extension. And, someone once told me I look like Jennifer Jason Leigh. Of course, I weighed alot less back then. Wow, thanks for reminding me how fat I am. Thanks!

  11. gina

    Tiffany, I personally did not know that interesting fact about your famousness! Wow – Jennifer Jason Leigh is a pretty good actress to be told you look like. I used to get you look like Blossom. Thank god Mayim Bialik decided to become a biochemist or something. That was annoying. I want someone ask me in all seriousness, “Are you Scarlet Johannson?” And that won’t happen. I’m not blonde.

  12. Tiffany

    Ooooh, Scarlet is HOT! I got Demi Moore once. Once. But now it’s more along the lines of Kathy Bates. HA HA HA HA!

  13. gina

    The best “you know who you look like” moment was when this guy out in front of the Manns Chinese Theatre told me I looked just like Shosanna Lowenstein (jerry seinfeld’s youngish girlfriend in the 90s). MUCH better than Blossom. And you know, I think I do kind of look like her…heheheheh

  14. gina

    And Christa looks like Lauren Ambrose (from Six Feet Under).

    Christa, maybe you should try out her strawberry blonde hair thing??? Come to Richmond this weekend and we will do it! I’ll be your hair stylist for FREE.

  15. Tiffany

    Let’s all go to Richmond and dye our hair strawberry blonde! Besides, everyone knows that Morgan likes redheads. Dont’cha, Morgan?

  16. Morgan

    I was told in Jr High that I looked like Alan Thicke. I WISH!! Now, I just look like “Thick Alan”!

    Redheads are hot… but women with no heads are hotter, and the Sun is the hottest.

  17. DG

    Morgan your insight and wisdom is infinite…you are a timeless sage.
    We need a more esoteric name for you, one that pierces the boundries
    of mind , time and space…………………

  18. gina

    Personally, I like to think of Morgan as more of a timeless taragon – particularly good in chicken salad.

  19. celly belly

    never, EVER go and make out with your concierge/doorman, cause next thing you know you’ll find your cat in a pot of boiling water. Learn it, Live it. made such definite bad decisions this past weekend, that i’m now going about rectifying, ugh! cheating on your 52 year old fiance, with your 62 year old doorman, just what the hell is wrong with me??? okay, dont answer that, cause it would take up entirely too much space. I dont know what I was thinking or why I somehow seem to CHOOSE to complicate my friggin life for, UGH! just call me the queen of bad decisions and i’m 33, I should be wiser, right? but when it comes to men, all rational thinking and common sense goes right out the window.

  20. Jonathan

    celly, I really hope almost all of that was made up. your fiance is 19 years older than you? You made out with a man old enough to be your dad? And you were lured by his glamorous high profile position as Doorman for your apartment building?

  21. celly belly

    No, none of it was made up. So far as my fiance being 19 years older than me, what does that have to do with anything? and so far as the other guy being a doorman, what does THAT have to do with anything? so if he were rich, would it make it more okay? I dont care about stuff like that. The point being that I made a bad choice and got mixed up with him, when I was already involved with someone else. Unfortunetely the feelings he’s begun to develop for me are getting way too intense, too quickly and I dont want to hurt him or my fiance, so I let him know today that it was OVER! things couldnt progress any further, physically or emotionally. When someone starts telling you they are in love with you and here you are engaged and to be married in the fall, you know it’s serious and you have to put a stop to it. I’m just glad atleast we never had sex. Sure, he’s 62, but he’s a good looking man, damn, just look at Sean Connery or Paul Newman or Robert Redford. It’s not like he was some groce old dude or something, he’s actually very attractive and fit for his age. Also, I dont get lured by someone having a “glamourous,high profile position” that’s all superficial crap! I could care less about, so his being a doorman, if my fiance were a doorman, I would still want to marry him.

  22. DG

    Plus being doorman you know where he is and where he will be, conveniently close at hand. Good thinking CB, and they got those large overcoats to hide inside!!!

  23. celly belly

    no large overcoats for our doormen. well, they’re actually concierge’s. the new thing with all the condos here are having concierges on duty. anyway, they wear jacket and ties. it’s so hoiyty and unnecessary, kinda makes you feel like you’re living at the 4 seasons or something, but whatever. it’s part of what the $250.00 in homeowner dues goes towards I guess. that and the outdoor pool, IN SEATTLE! which only is open 4 months out of the year and only 2 of those are warm enough to really use the damn thing. who thought of that??? although the hot tub has been a real blessing. although I found out from our bldg. manager (who’s a nazi and suicidally depressed) that he’s found condoms floating in the water n’ such, from crazy, sex parties, kinda changes your opinons on public hot tubs after hearing shit like that. oy!

  24. Jonathan

    1) 19 years is a big difference in a marriage; you have no common frame of reference. It’s practically a full generation apart.

    2) Many younger women in today’s society are lured by significantly older men when the older man in question is wealthy and/or powerful. In fact, if nationwide studies on the demographics within relationships of 60 year old men with 30 year old women, I’d hazard a guess that in nearly 90% of the (non-mormon, forced to marry the village elder) cases, the man was in a position of power and/or privilege significantly higher than the woman. To pretend otherwise doesn’t make you noble, only naive.

    3) Your story is exceedingly creepy. You cheated on your fiance with the doorman of your building, which I believe is one step above cheating on your fiance with the guy who wipes car windows at intersections with snot-covered rags.

    4) I think you may have some unresolved father issues you might want to see a counselor about. 33 yr old women aren’t usually in the position of picking between a fiftysomething & a sixtysomething suitor.

  25. celly belly

    Jonathan, thanks for the laugh! as for the father issues, I definitely have those, totally fit the criteria. My sister was my father’s favourite, was never told I was good enough, never given the love or affection or attention I sought, etc… but i’ve always dated men my own age and when I met my fiance, I honestly thought he was in his early 40’s, wasnt until later that I found out just how old he was and despite the 19 years age difference, we have SO much in common, much more so than I did with guys my own age and he’s mature and respectful and romantic and I dont give a flying fuck about the age difference. I had no idea what sort of money he had and I didnt care, as material things dont mean shit to me. He could afford to have me shop at Nordstroms and Macy’s, but I still choose to go to Goodwill and Value Village and Big Lots, discount shoppes, cause I dont believe in spending alot of money on clothes, household items, etc… it’s a HUGE waste! and what kind of car a man drives or if his suits are from Italy or whatever, I could care less about. So far as my having an affair with my concierge, equating that to someone who washes car windows, you’re a snob! being a concierge is an honourable job, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it! neither is washing car windows. Atleast they arent out there robbing liquor stores or selling crack. Not that I really care what your opionon is, but I find it extremely limited and quite frankly, sad. I dont agree with what I did and I know it was wrong, but in neither case did it have to do with how old they were, to me, age is irrelevant. I look at the person and even with ther 62 year old, we had the best talks and had so many of the same interests in common, never felt like a huge generation gap to me, but thats probably cause I always gravitated towards having older friends, cause I was more mature for my age, never hung out with highschool kids when I was a teenager, cause I thought they were a bunch of inmature, dumbasses! wasnt interested in partying, getting drunk and stoned, etc… alot of my friends are in their 40’s actually, so whats the big deal? I think if you limit yourself to only being with those in your age group, your limiting your ability to get to know some great people. Nonetheless, you are a serious snob! the job doesnt make the person! neither does someone’s “status” in life. I mean, just what the hell century are we living in??? if those things are important to you, thats fine, but I couldnt give a flying shit about it, so long as the person is good, kindhearted, good sense of humour, intelligent, etc… maybe you should try expanding your mind a bit.

  26. celly belly

    oh and so far as the whole age thing, I also have friends who are in their mid to late 20’s, so I dont discriminate that way either. So long as they are mature, we have similiar things in common and they’re intelligent, interesting people, thats what matters. I dont hang out with a Fortune 500 crowd, most of my friends are just regular joe’s, trying to survive, living paycheck to paycheck, but they’re good, decent, honest and REAL people and finding that in this day n’ age is a blessing, where so many people are fake and hide behind possessions and feel that somehow that makes up who they are, but that has absolutely nothing to do with the character of a human being. Obviousely your priorities for relationships, romantic or otherwise are on the complete oppposite end of the spectrum from mine. Oh let me see if I remember this correctly, you’re a republican, arent you?

  27. DG

    To be candid, at my “social club” I meet many very attractive twenty somethings. Since they come to the social club to shake off “bad habits”
    they are very vulnerable sometimes. Many are incredibly sweet and beautiful..oh did I say incredibly beautiful??? Well they are pretty nice and they are looking for mentors and rides home….Damn my Catholic upbringing and moral compass. nothing will happen unless they
    1) get tested for AIDS and hepititis C
    You would not believe the people these days driving mercedes benz SUV’s
    and living in expensive homes that have them.
    2)Promise to marry and produce me a child.
    3) they would have the option to bail as I got older.
    4) I need a baby and a girl half my age would do very well in that department.
    5) Thank Bally’s and their swimming pools because of them I am starting to look good enough to attract these young trollops attention.

  28. celly belly

    heehee… you used the word “trollops” you grew up in the 50’s, didnt you? sorry, thats just funny, cause when my mom was still alive, she would always call the women down at the eagles club that and it made me laugh.

  29. Jonathan

    You remember incorrectly, cb, I’m a lifelong democrat. I drive a Prius, with a bumper sticker labeled “Man of the People”. You’re just remembering me as a Republican because I’m financially incredibly well off.

  30. DG

    Well close CB. I am 47 so I heard it someplace in the 60’s or 70’s !!!
    And Jonathan…. you sound so incredibly available…but your not your married with a new pretty baby…..
    Flirting like that…..

  31. brasten

    yay! There goes CB again, labelling anything and anyone she doesn’t agree with as a Republican.

    You should find a Fortune 500er or two to integrate into your social circle. They can be wonderful friends.

  32. christa Post author

    The only experience I have with doormen are from Law & Order. the detectives are always questioning them about the goings-on of a suspect. they usually know a lot. they are reluctant to help at first, but then the cops appeal to their better natures and they give up the goods. good old law & order.

    The only experience I have with older men is umm…well none. I like ’em young and controllable. I have no idea how this relates to my father, but I am sure there is a connection and I’m sure it’s very twisted and sick.

    umm…what else. oh, the people I’ve been told I look like: lauren ambrose, natalie merchant, mia farrow, the main character from “real women have curves” (although I think that has more to do with body shape and personality than actual physical resemblance) and helena bonham carter.

    the one thing these people seem to have in common physically are eyes that seem ready to explode off their face. I had no idea my eyes looked like that. poor eyes. don’t explode off my face, please.

    oh, I also get “do I know you? you look familiar. were you our waitress last night?” or “you look like my granddaughter.” Actually, I get that a lot, it’s kind of weird. I guess I have that generic everyman look. at least the gender is right.

    clearly, people are delusional and blind all the world over, as I look exactly like no one and everyone at the same time.

    and different strokes for different folks. to each is own. etc, etc.

  33. celly belly

    yes, all republicans are evil, what can I say. and if I incorporate some fortune 500 people into my life, maybe you oughta give window washers or doormen a try, regular ol’ joe’s, as they can be wonderful people as well. oh and I didnt think you were a republican cause of how well you’re off, jonathan, but cause of your extreme closed mindedness, just fit.

  34. Jonathan

    It IS pretty radical of me to think that people shouldn’t marry people twenty years older than them. Call me crazy!

  35. brasten

    I do have very close friends from all economic levels, from CEOs to truck drivers, police officers to a couple chronically unemployed friends.

    You were the one that implied you don’t socialize with a particular economic class, and then implied others needed their mind expanded. The classic liberal “open-mind.” Tolerance towards all people, except Republicans.

  36. christa Post author

    You’re right, Brasten. There is definitely a tendency in liberal/democratic people to claim tolerance for all people, except for of course our sworn enemy. Or those who are “better off” than us anyway. It is one of the more annoying things about our party. Not that I believe all liberals/democrats are that way, but enough of them to make it a problem. in my neighborhood, there seems to be a greater acceptance of poor black people than wealthy ones, which seems ridiculous, but it makes sense. black people *should* be poor, according to them.

    Of course, there is a greater tolerance of wealthy than poor, but that’s for the white people. if you’re poor and white, you’re lazy and unfit citizens. if you’re poor and black, it’s because you are the product of our society and we need to help you. if you’re rich and white you are the epitome of success. and if you’re rich and black, you are upsetting the balance and taking away money from the more deserving white people or the struggling black poor.

    I’m not kidding, that is how people think in this neighborhood. Massachusetts is full of a bunch of crazy people who don’t know whether they want to be republican or democrat. Maybe they think they can magically merge the two. But it amazes me how many times I’ve heard the white people around here complaining about upper class black families. It really bothers them.

    At least for the Republicans, they don’t push an open-minded agenda, of being tolerant of all people, so when they reject a certain group or another, it’s works out.

    then the stupid democrats have to say “tolerance for all” and go act like republicans anyway.

    stupid politics. it’s all a bunch of hogwash.

    back to my motto: to each his own!

  37. christa Post author

    Let me amend that. to each his own, as long as there isn’t a Bush in office!

  38. brasten

    Bush hasn’t exactly been blowing my socks off either. Here’s to better options in 2008.

    Either way, it seems to me that racism is racism, classism is classism, sexism is sexism, and it affects all political groups roughly the same. Something Republicans have been HORRIBLE at is countering the democratic belief that we reject certain people. We reject certain IDEAS. And rejection of those ideas CAN and a lot of times DO affect groups of people. But democrats do that too. You reject the idea that rich and poor are equal and should equally give of their money to support this country. The affect of that is that billions and billions and billions of dollars taken from the wealthy to suppliment the breaks you give to the unwealthy.

    There are of course many other examples, but I don’t think they’re necessary. The point is, it’s the same thing.

  39. Tiffany

    Has anyone ever noticed how amazingly good chocolate chip cookies are? Especially the ones that are made by ME??? Probably not, because I don’t think I’ve made cookies for anyone on here with the exception of Christa. And she loved them. I think.

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