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11:00am
Sometimes,
I wonder what exactly it is that I want. I am not too sure. On one
hand, I like how things are right now. I'm alone and I like it,
I can do what I want with whoever I want, I don't feel obligated
to anyone or anything. I live my life pretty much according to whim.
And I'm okay with that. I like being Christa and only Christa. But
I also feel something else at times, this longing for something
more. A connection to someone that isn't just sexual. Someone I
can just sit there with and watch TV and be perfectly okay and comfortable
with the quiet. Maybe not a Boyfriend (TM), but that sort of idea.
One boy that I have sex with on a regular basis. Someone that will
play Scrabble with me, or Boggle, or Yahtzee (those are my favorite
games). Someone who will pat my head and let me rest it on their
shoulder for a bit. I think mostly I enjoy being single. But the
life of a single gal like myself makes times when you're alone a
little more lonely.
You'd
think I could learn to talk about something else. You'd think.
I
am looking forward to seeing Gina. She makes me laugh. we're goofy
and funny together. we laugh a lot. Too bad she's so stupid. Her
husband is hot, though.
I
am listening to the bangles' eternal flame mp3 right now. heehee.
it's so very good. so so very good. I love you, eternal flame. I
kiss you and hug you and love you all night long.
I
think I would make an excellent drug addict. I could really get
into it, I think. I'm not trying to insult drug addicts or recovering
drug addicts or future drug addicts, not at all, I'm just saying
that I think I would be really good at it. Especially heroin. I
think that would be my drug of choice were I to become a drug addict.
Thankfully, I like shopping and buying stuff too much to waste my
precious money on drugs.
So
I played the big game lottery cause the prize money was this insane
amount, and no one won it, so now it's even more insane. I shall
win next week. Anne Marie and I were talking about it yesterday,
all the things we'd do and buy and who we'd share it with and blah
blah. It was fun. I love you, money. I kiss you and hug you and
love you all night long.
I
bet if I did a word count on the number of times I say "I"
or "me" and the different variations, I'd get into sets
of numbers that haven't even been discovered yet.
Yesterday
was warm but the sun ended up hiding behind clouds most of the day.
However, it is out and shining right now and that means that I am
going to lay down on the grass and bask today. I am also hungry.
so I will eat too.
I
think bones are cool.
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