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10:53 PM EST
I
seriously need a new loafe design. every time I look at it, I just
get really irritated.
so,
who wants some free stuff? this includes (but is not limited to)
the Beatles' "Let it Be" CD, three children's books, a
book of short stories, a compilation CD that I made, and some other
dumb little stuff. These items were all specially picked for someone,
but you know, things happen and that someone is no longer in my
life. but having these things around..it makes me very very unhappy
and I need to get rid of them. and people I already know can't have
them, either, so don't even bother. I want to never see these things
or talk about them or think about them ever again.
I
know! I'll just pick a random address from the internet and send
it all to them. that's kinda cool.
unless
a loafe reader really really wants them and can convince me why
she should get them (or he, i suppose although really I think I
am done with stupid boys and their stupid boy-ness).
I
lose stuff. a lot of stuff. and very easily. I always have. I used
to get in trouble all the time when I was younger because I'd come
home without my sweater or my lunchbox or my backpack or this or
that. my mom would yell at me so much. it drove her crazy. I was
either losing stuff or breaking stuff. not much has changed since
then.
I
always got in trouble for fidgeting too. "why can't you just
STAY STILL for chrissakes?!?" I still get yelled at for it,
too.
a
few weeks ago I lost my most favoritest sweatshirt in all the world.
it really was the best sweatshirt. I left it in the stupid pub and
now some dumb person has it and is wearing it and it belongs to
me. I hate losing stuff. I just can't seem to stop.
"what
am i still to you
some thief who stole from you
or some fool drama queen
who's chances were few"
guess
who wrote that lryic and guess what song it's from?
Okay,
here's another one:
"I
hope one day you call up your father and you have the guts to tell
him how he hurt you and how he made you hurt another, cause it makes
me sad."
this
is fun. let's do one more:
"it's
not alright, it's not okay, I am sure I'll be blamed and I will
take the shit you give."
I
like to imagine my life through different songs. it's much more
exciting that way.
can
I just say that I have the coolest friends in the world? I do. I
have the coolest friends in the world. I also have the coolest ex-friends,
too.
and
I don't hate anyone, so if you think I hate you, I don't.
and
if you were included in the list of people who've hurt me the most,
that doesn't mean that I didn't deserve it or that I think it was
done on purpose or anything like that. so please don't be mad. I
need less people walking out of my life and more people staying.
if you think about it, it's kinda obvious, based on the number of
people who have said to me "I no longer want you in my life",
that there is definitely something inherently, fundamentally wrong
with me.
I've
figured out what I want. I want tenderness. I haven't had that from
someone in so long, I have forgotten what it feels like. we all
need it. I'm about ready to kill myself for it.
heard
tonight on the simpsons: Homer: "trying is the first step of
failure".
we
could all learn from homer simpson.
peppermint
patty was definitely the sexiest peanuts character and charlie brown
was absolutely criminally insane to like that stupid redheaded girl
and not her.
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