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9:49 AM PST
Why
did the dog go fast? Because he had a can opener.
I
feel it is best to start things off with a joke. It makes you all
nice and cozy and sedated. This is Ryan,
composer of the Loafe Theme Song, "Christa Rocks!" Christa is busying
moving like a muttha. So she needs to take a little break from loafe.
Where
shall I begin to shall? I shall begin now. I really wish my parents
named me Sal. That way if I ever decided to join the mob, I would
have a name that fits. No wiseguy has ever been named Ryan. And
another thing what's the deal with all these mothers and fathers
naming their children Ryan. Please stop it. I think it's time for
parents to recycle names from antiquity. If I ever have a son, I
think I'll call him Woodrow.
Today,
was quite lazy. Was it like that for all of you? I have a theory,
that laziness spreads sort of like a cold front. And speaking of
cold fronts, the one over Minnesota kicked ass. How many of you
out there have seen "Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas"? If everyone
in the entire world took that show to heart, the world would be
about 99.9% better.
"A
pretty girl dancing to jug band music. And a mess of mom's barbeque."
~ Paul Williams "Momma's Barbeque"
And
other thing, what's all this hoopla over hoopla? I mean, as if hoopla
wasn't enough. Hoopla, by itself, isn't bad. But you have to have
some substance, something to back it up. Everything thing you do,
do it like a muttha.
Some
parting words: The Grateful Dead once put up a billboard in Arcata,
California. It said "There ain't no time to hate." That includes
yourself. So, don't screw yourself over.
"For
I won't be apart of the cocktail generation. Partners waltz, devoid
of all romance. The music plays, and everyone must dance. I'm bowing
out. I need a second chance." ~ Don McLean "Castles in the Air."
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