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12:08am
Every
Tuesday, from 2pm till 3pm, I am in therapy with Meg. I really really
like her. I trust her as I've not trusted anyone before, especially
a therapist.
Today
was the first time I cried in a therapy session. Ever. Well, maybe
not ever. I've been in a lot of therapy sessions before, not just
with Meg, but with a lot of people. Doctors, students, assholes,
weirdos. I may have cried in one of those. Anyway that isn't the
point. We were talking, Meg and I, cause that's what you do in therapy,
you talk. A lot. Talk talk talk. Anyway, we were talking and I was
telling her about "High Fidelity" and my weirdness around
kissing scenes lately and what that means blah blah and I just started
crying. I felt like an ass, but I couldn't help it. Stupid crying,
stupid tears. Go away, I say! I don't need you!
I
wish people were more creative when insulting me. I mean come on.
At least TRY. Saying that I'm "whacked" isn't mean or
harsh and doesn't affect me much. First of all, because it is true
and I readily admit to that fact quite often; second of all, because
it isn't very clever or witty or cutting. So I'm asking everyone--please
practice your insults.
I
read somewhere that if you need an alarm clock to get up in the
morning, then you aren't getting enough sleep or the proper kind
of sleep. Whatever.
Am I a bitch if I don't like the blind girl in my class? I don't
like her BECAUSE she's blind; there are other reasons. And I am
not exactly sure if she's one hundred percent blind. When she talks,
her eyes dart around, never settling on anything, not like I've
seen other blind people. And it seems like she can see a little
bit. But what the fuck do I know. Anyway, she's in my class and
when she raises her hand to say something, I inwardly groan and
sink lower in my seat, because I know that we're in for a long-winded,
pointless, boring and quite annoying diatribe. She never has anything
useful to say, at least that I've been able to garner from her garbled
and meandering words. She just drones on and on and her eyes are
flicking all over the place and I want to shoot myself. And I wonder
to myself if I am being too harsh, if I should cut her some slack
because she's blind. But fuck that. Just because she can't see doesn't
mean that she automatically becomes wise and full of helpful information.
Because she can't see do I have to like her? I mean, god...she's
annoying as fuck. I don't think her blindness has anything to do
with it. I just wish she'd shut up.
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