{"id":798,"date":"2008-03-14T18:02:34","date_gmt":"2008-03-14T22:02:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=798"},"modified":"2008-03-16T01:45:28","modified_gmt":"2008-03-16T05:45:28","slug":"periods-babies-and-head-colds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=798","title":{"rendered":"periods, babies, and head colds"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>my boss was due to have her baby in another three weeks or so, but the darn thing decided to come early and right in the middle of production. we weren&#8217;t prepared for this at all! <\/p>\n<p>So now she&#8217;s out for the next several weeks and I have to take care of everything, EVERYTHING, and sure I can handle it (no no i can&#8217;t), but christ in a bucket, it&#8217;s a lot of work. I am careening my way through it all and praying like hell I make it without ruining an entire magazine and destroying the lives of millions. Because it&#8217;s all in my hands now people. I am god in the world of sailing. kind of cool actually. the power I wield is immense. and deadly. and sexy.<\/p>\n<p>ehh, okay, not so much. but sailors of the world&#8211;you better watch it! Or you&#8217;ll be sorry. Oh yes.<\/p>\n<p>All this loveliness happened yesterday, the first day of my frigging period, plus I woke up with an obnoxious and exhausting head cold. Coming home on the train last night, I murdered seven people and broke fifteen bones and threw up twice.<\/p>\n<p>can i cry? please? there is so much paperwork and magazines and post-its and just so much shit surrounding me right now, it&#8217;s 6pm, I&#8217;m still at work and I burnt the hell out of my popcorn, making the whole office stink and everyone annoyed with me. then they all left and now I sit here, in the dark, blowing snot, my head throbbing, and wishing you were dead.<\/p>\n<p>I have one thing to be grateful for: I am not pushing any babies out of my vagina.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>my boss was due to have her baby in another three weeks or so, but the darn thing decided to come early and right in the middle of production. we&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=798"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/798\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}