{"id":771,"date":"2008-01-29T19:07:37","date_gmt":"2008-01-29T23:07:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=771"},"modified":"2008-08-26T00:14:09","modified_gmt":"2008-08-26T04:14:09","slug":"someone-please-murder-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=771","title":{"rendered":"Someone please murder me*"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I want to stab her face off I want to bash a steel pipe over &amp; over into her body and shatter every bone I want to stomp her into a flat pancake and pour syrup on her and eat her and let my stomach acids break her down then shit her out into the flaming fire of a demon&#8217;s mouth I want her slam her against the walls and break windows with her head I want to smash her stupid ugly face into a bloody, pulpy mess. <\/p>\n<p>If this train doesn&#8217;t start fucking moving right now I am seriously going to lose my shit. Lose it all over everyone.<\/p>\n<p>* No one please actually murder me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I want to stab her face off I want to bash a steel pipe over &amp; over into her body and shatter every bone I want to stomp her into&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[58,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-best-of-loafe-vol-1","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=771"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/771\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1092,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/771\/revisions\/1092"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}