this morning on the train, it was super duper crazy crowded. worse I’ve seen it in ages. I had five people squashed up against me, surrounding me from all sides, touching me the entire ride into boston.<\/p>\n
the funny thing is that about 5 mins into the trip, I had to fart. there is barely room to breathe between everyone and their endless supply of bags and jackets and books and scarves and hats and newspapers and ipods and the entire contents of their house, I’m literally less than my tongue’s length away from the guy in front me, I could lick the back of his neck, draw circles spell out my name, someone is jammed up directly against my ass, and I have to fart. I just smiled and looked at the girl next to me. I wish I hadn’t been alone to enjoy it.<\/p>\n
I had my headphones on, so I wasn’t sure how loud it was, but no one looked at me and I didn’t smell anything offensive. Kind of disappointed about the smell. Although the guy glued to my ass may have gotten an unexpected but not unpleasant vibration.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
this morning on the train, it was super duper crazy crowded. worse I’ve seen it in ages. I had five people squashed up against me, surrounding me from all sides,… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-awesome-dude","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}