{"id":62,"date":"2004-03-27T00:00:11","date_gmt":"2004-03-27T08:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/wp\/?p=62"},"modified":"2004-03-27T00:00:11","modified_gmt":"2004-03-27T08:00:11","slug":"my-dirty-streets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=62","title":{"rendered":"My dirty streets."},"content":{"rendered":"

I am very afraid of something.<\/p>\n

What if my baby doesn&#146t fill up this hole? Here I am thinking she will, depending <\/i>on it, but what if she doesn&#146t? What if she comes along and she is perfect and lovely and amazing, but still, inside, I&#146m just an empty wasteland?<\/p>\n

Because let&#146s face it folks, she&#146s really my only hope, my last chance, the final countdown, after this, it&#146s game over.<\/p>\n

Already I love her more than I ever imagined possible and I may just be setting both of us up for a lot of sadness. I am putting such burdens on her, such expectations. She is a baby not my savior and I am terrified I&#146m going to screw it up. And this is the one thing that I absolutely positively cannot fuck up. How the hell am I going to grow up and be the unselfish, sane, rational being that I need to be in 5 months? I haven&#146t been able to do it in 29 years.<\/p>\n

I can only hope that I am stronger and better than I think. Just do my best, I guess.<\/p>\n

But I am still so very scared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am very afraid of something. What if my baby doesn&#146t fill up this hole? Here I am thinking she will, depending on it, but what if she doesn&#146t? What… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-62","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=62"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=62"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=62"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=62"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}