{"id":442,"date":"2007-02-27T02:04:53","date_gmt":"2007-02-27T06:04:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=442"},"modified":"2008-08-25T20:53:31","modified_gmt":"2008-08-26T00:53:31","slug":"if-i-could-tell-the-world-just-one-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=442","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;If I could tell the world just one thing&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It annoys me that I&#8217;m not good with both my hands. I do everything better with my right hand. I&#8217;m all Parkinson&#8217;s disease in my left hand. It&#8217;s wrong to feel uncomfortable doing something with my left hand. It&#8217;s my own freaking hand and I feel weird using it. Not only do I feel weird, I&#8217;m not good at it, I&#8217;m not good at using my own body part. And then it drags me down that my right hand isn&#8217;t better, that my right hand is not kicking ass all over the place and doing everything awesomely. All I use is my right hand, and I should be like Super Right Hand Girl Who Rocks The Joints Using Her Right Hand. Something like that anyway. But it&#8217;s not. No, my right hand is junk.<\/p>\n<p>For instance, at my last dentist appointment, I was told that the left side of my mouth isn&#8217;t as healthy as my right, due most likely to the way I brush my teeth, since I&#8217;m right-handed. And I think <em>FUCK, my right hand can&#8217;t brush my teeth? Lousy lazy no good right hand. All you gotta do is hold a brush and you can&#8217;t even do that. You&#8217;re gonna be all left-side crazy teeth lady because your right hand is a big fat loser.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So I&#8217;m pissed that I have a gnarly club for a left hand and that my right hand sucks and won&#8217;t pick up the slack.<\/p>\n<p>These hands&#8230; These hands are ruining my life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It annoys me that I&#8217;m not good with both my hands. I do everything better with my right hand. I&#8217;m all Parkinson&#8217;s disease in my left hand. It&#8217;s wrong to&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[58,1],"tags":[59],"class_list":["post-442","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-best-of-loafe-vol-1","category-random","tag-ruining-my-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/442","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=442"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/442\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1014,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/442\/revisions\/1014"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}