I hate Gordon. You want to know why? Because the bastard can’t gain weight to save his life. He blinks his eyes and loses 5 pounds. His metabolism runs so fast, he can’t keep up with it. He can eat and eat and eat and he’s still a skinny frigging jerk. Argh. It makes me want to scream.<\/p>\n
As for me, I even think about food and I’m up 5 pounds. My metabolism is a slow burner, if it’s moving at all. I am sure if I were more active, it would improve, but even when I was a gym hound, went to school, worked two jobs and barely had time to breathe, I still had a lollygagging metabolism. If me and my metabolism were ever alone together in a room, it would be quite the laziness competition. That is if I didn’t strangle it first, because you know what? Fuck my metabolism.<\/p>\n
So here I am trying to lose weight (baby weight I say, but that baby is almost 2 goddamned years old) and eat\/drink those stupid meal replacement diet shake thingies, and he’s worrying about being too skinny and looking for ways to gain weight and eat MORE food. I hate him. I fucking hate him.<\/p>\n
On a side note: I’m at work right now and the russian and dorky guy are flirting again, right this very second. I can hear them giggling and being weird and creepy. ewww. I am so embarrassed. they make me embarrassed. and get this, the girl has started dolling herself up now. being all pretty and tall and blonde. and for the dorkiest guy I’ve ever seen. ewwww.<\/p>\n
someone, make it stop.<\/p>\n
it has to be because he’s the new guy, that has to be it. It seems everyone is flirting with him, even the guys. But I don’t get it. He’s dorky! and not sexy dorky or cool dorky. Just dorky dorky.<\/p>\n
people are so weird.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I hate Gordon. You want to know why? Because the bastard can’t gain weight to save his life. He blinks his eyes and loses 5 pounds. His metabolism runs so… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=344"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}